A Certain Slant of Light

25. Do you have any hard and fast headcanons that you will die defending?

Thanos's plot to kill half of all life in the galaxy in Infinity War was stupid and the Avengers' decision in Endgame to undo it but only kinda was even stupider and all of Marvel's attempts to deal with the aftermath in Spiderman: Far from Home and The Falcon and the Winter Soldier just drive home how very absurd those plot points are, and I refuse to allow any of it to enter into my personal MCU headcanon.

3. You've got your OTP, you have to throw a third into the mix (from the same fandom), creating an OT3. Who is the OTP, and in your opinion, why would they make a perfect third for them?

I’ve long, long wanted to write a Steve/Bucky/Natasha fic, although at this point it seems unlikely unless Black Widow revitalizes my feelings for MCU fandom.

Bucky and Natasha have amazing overlapping histories as brainwashed assassins of the Soviet Union - I feel like they would understand each other in a way that no one else could understand them (although Natasha might also have this with Yelena... but that's a musing for another post), but also that this would create a claustrophobic intensity that Steve would really help leaven.

And Steve and Natasha have a great friendship, and I could definitely see them doing friends with benefits because they could both probably have sexual tension with a cactus, but adding Bucky to the mix would bring new depth to their relationships. Steve and Natasha are both characters who wear sarcastic, wise-cracking masks to hide their pain and uncertainty (in fact, so is Bucky; another reason they’d be a great OT3, they’d have a great time just joking around together), but Bucky understands parts of both of their pasts in a way few other people can, and he could act as a bridge between them.

Oh hey! I wrote a fic! kore took me up on my fics in return for charity donations offer, which remains open, btw, in case anyone wants a fic For Great Justice.

This one is a Natasha fic. I have been vaguely kicking around this idea for ages (which of Natasha's old contacts did she get that file from?) and I'm delighted to have written it before the Black Widow movie comes out and presumably josses all of my thoughts on the matter.

Fic: Tea for Two
Fandom: MCU (post-Captain America: The Winter Soldier, drawing on the Black Widow trailer for Yelena characterization)
Rating: General audiences
Warnings: None
Relationships: Natasha Romanov/Yelena Belova
Characters: Natasha Romanov, Yelena Belova, mentions of Steve Rogers & Bucky Barnes
Summary: After the helicarriers fall, Natasha goes to an old friend to bargain for the Winter Soldier's file. Yelena is delighted to have this chance to gloat.

At last I have seen Captain Marvel! And it seemed like a pretty solid mid-tier Marvel movie: not quite up there with Black Panther or Winter Soldier but nonetheless enjoyable.

I especially enjoyed the beginning, because I love stories about the brainwashed soldiers of evil empires (see also my She-Ra problem). In fact I was a little disappointed that this section so brief, but this is 100% a result of personal preference, not a flaw in the movie. The only thing I’ve ever watched that has kept the brainwashed soldiers with the evil organization as I’ve wanted is Agents of SHIELD and that’s because they don’t realize that’s what they’re doing.

(Side note on Agents of SHIELD: Captain Marvel basically tossed all of AoS’s Coulson backstory out the window, and while I don’t really expect the big movies to slavishly adhere to things established in a wonky little TV show, nonetheless this must be absolutely maddening for the AoS writers, who at least in the early seasons tried so hard to tie in tightly to the movies. I’m a couple of seasons behind so I don’t know if they’re still doing this. I should catch up so I can find out if they knocked off half the cast with the Snap or just went = “Wow, it’s so lucky none of our team members disintegrated into ash in that ludicrous plot twist!” and keep on with whatever ridonkulous plot they had going.)

( Spoilers, although I think I’m the last person on the planet to see this movie )

I wrote one more fic in 2018 that I forgot to link here.

Kids These Days (1313 words)
Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe/Agent Carter
Rating: PG
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Natasha Romanov, Dottie Underwood
Summary: When young Natasha flubs a mission, her teacher Miss Underwood complains about how soft the Red Room has gotten since the good old days.

evelyn_b, if you recall we once talked about a story about Natasha’s first mission. The full story never got written, but this part did, and who doesn’t want to hear Miss Underwood complain (metaphorically speaking) about how in her day they walked to school uphill both ways through a blinding Siberian blizzard and the Red Room girls today don’t know how good they have it.

The Great Tumblrpocalypse of 2018 did prompt me to finally finish up a couple of nearly-finished Captain America fics that had been sitting around my hard drive, on the grounds that I'd better get them out there before Captain America fandom scattered to the four winds; and then it occurred to me that some of Captain American fandom has in fact scattered here, at least for the moment, so maybe I should post links here too.

Haircut. In which Bucky asks Steve to cut Bucky's hair so Bucky will look more like his old self when they go to visit Bucky's sister. This was originally meant to be a Reciprocity extra and then it got abandoned and I tried to make it less blatantly Reciprocity when I was polishing it up but apparently the serial numbers are engraved on.

Angels with Dirty Faces. A pre-war fic in which Steve and Bucky go see the movie Angels with Dirty Faces (yes, I know, I was very creative with the title here). Thirties details! Hanging out with the Barnes' family! Steve being his prickly self.

And also a Tumblr ficlet about Bucky & Natasha bonding over their shared Russian pasts, here, which I feel is too short to move to AO3 as it is but I can't decide if it's worth expanding/possible to expand without turning into an epic... so I guess I'll just leave it for now.

I saw Thor: Ragnarok last night! And I enjoyed it, in a fun popcorn movie kind of way, although at the same time I felt that it lacked a certain emotional resonance or depth. I felt that, for instance, Guardians of the Galaxy 2 had an emotional core in Peter's daddy issues, which Thor: Ragnarok ultimately lacked.

( Spoilers )

I posted a fic on AO3 before I left for Miami, & then forgot to post a link over here! Although in general I've gotten out of the loop of posting links to my fics here. Must correct this.

Title: Mary, Mary, Quite Contrary
Fandom: Agents of SHIELD/MCU
Pairings: a bit of Bucky/Daisy but not much
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Bucky runs into another super-powered fugitive from justice with a yen for black leather jackets: Skye a.k.a. Daisy Johnson a.k.a. Quake. He figures he's got to have something in common with someone who's got that many names.

This is the last of the fics-for-ACLU donations that have been requested so far, so if you were hoping to get in on that, the deck is cleared! Now is the time! I have raised $465 so far and would really like to make it up to $500. $10 donation minimum! Send me your donation receipt and let the games begin!

I can write for many, many fandoms, including Agents of SHIELD, Captain America, Agent Carter, various American Girl books, various Rosemary Sutcliff books (although if you want one of the more obscure ones, best to check if I've read it), Tortall, many other things for I am a fannish butterfly who flits from flower to flower. Happy to discuss fic specifics with you!

For evelyn_b: the MCU. Which is awfully broad! There’s a lot of MCU out there and I have seen quite a bit of it (although I never did finish any of the Netflix shows). But even without them, there are still all those movies, and Agents of SHIELD, and Agent Carter (RIP! I wasn’t as fond of the second season as the first, but I still would have liked a third.)

the character I least understand

Oh, man. I love Skye a lot (have I mentioned that she and I have the exact same birthday? Not just the day but the year. WE ARE SPIRIT TWINS) but I still don’t get her swift switcheroo from “Rising Tide hacktivist” to “loyal SHIELD agent” in season one. It’s just so fast! And so completely devoid of guilt or regret! She meets up with one of her former friends one time, and then Coulson cuts off her computer access and all contact with the outside world (brainwashing 101! I’m just saying!) and she never tries again or worries about betraying them or anything. It’s like she’s forgotten her Rising Tide friends ever existed.

...and we know that SHIELD totally has the tech to make that happen. Fury used it on Coulson to make him forget the process by which they brought him back to life. I’M JUST SAYING.

interactions I enjoyed the most

Peggy Carter and Dottie Underwood’s interactions were all A++ and I will be forever sad that we won’t get to see them team up against a greater threat - not in the “You have to work with us or this exploding necklace will explode” way they worked together in season 2, but genuinely working together to fight, like, aliens.

I also loved Natasha & Steve’s friendship in Winter Soldier. And of course Steve vs. the Winter Soldier on the helicarrier is absolute gold, the fight that launched a thousand ships.

the character who scares me the most

Honestly I find the Hulk pretty terrifying and I don’t think it’s responsible of SHIELD or the Avengers to send him out on missions in anything less than a Chitauri-invasion type situation, because the threat he poses is just too great. Just look what he did in Age of Ultron: he loses control and wrecks great swathes of a city. (With Tony’s help in the Hulkbuster, of course, but that honestly only strengthens my point.)

the character who is mostly like me

Probably none of them; I am just not that badass. Even Darcy is way quicker with quips and cooler under pressure than I would be.

hottest looks character

You realize this is an impossible question in the MCU. There are so many of them and they are all so pretty, it’s completely impossible. Even just going with the movies - even limiting it to just the Cap films - how are you going to choose between Steve and Peggy and Natasha and Winter Soldier Bucky (I think he’s so much more attractive with the long hair and stubble)? You can’t do it! They’re all too gorgeous!

And it just gets worse when you bring Thor and Bobbi Morse and everyone else from every MCU thing into the mix. Too much pretty. Too much. Too much!

one thing I dislike about my fave character

Most of Bucky’s everything in Civil War, honestly. I dislike the fact that the writers went with trigger word brainwashing instead of something closer to real-world brainwashing (I realize that this is a silly complaint about a superhero sci-fi movie but I can’t help it), and the ending where he chooses to go into cryo. I realize he has every reason in the world to give up but I still don’t want him to.

one thing I like about my hated character

I ACTUALLY DO HAVE A MOST HATED MARVEL CHARACTER. I DESPITE DR. HOLDEN RADCLIFFE (the scientist who first shows up in season 3 of Agents of SHIELD) WITH THE FIERY PASSION OF A THOUSAND SUNS. He is trying to hide the fact that he is evil behind an eccentric yet harmless mad scientist veneer but I am NOT HAVING ANY OF IT ANY MORE, he is just straight up evil and views humans as chess pieces - not even chess pieces! Chess pieces have some individuality! - as checkers, flat little checkers to be moved around the board at his whim.

I will not list all the terrible things he does, because there are simply too many, but the scene that really snapped me is the one where he’s trying to manipulate Fitz by telling Fitz that Fitz is like a son to him - and then it turns out that Radcliffe isn’t even the one talking; he’s sent in a decoy robot to say all this while he scurries away out the back door. FUCK YOU RADCLIFFE.

Um. I’m supposed to be thinking of something I like about him. He’s always got a contingency plan, which is admirable in a way, or at least it would be if each contingency plan wasn’t more evil than the next.

a quote or scene that haunts me

Does “the entirety of Winter Soldier” count? I’m not sure I can narrow it down more than that. Although the helicarrier scene and “I’m with you to the end of the line” and Bucky jumping into the Potomac to fish Steve out and then leaving him on the riverbank - all of that got me in the feels.

Or the bank vault scene where Pierce is trying to explain to the asset about the importance of his world-saving mission and the asset is just “....but I knew him,” like, he doesn’t know what’s going on but he knows Pierce is not answering his question - and then Pierce just has him wiped...

a death that left me indifferent

Pietro. Honestly, I just don’t really believe that he’s dead: his power is literally being faster than bullets and then he dies in a hail of machine gun fire. And it’s so abrupt and weirdly quippy, I can’t take it seriously.

a character I wish died but didn’t

I haven’t finished season 4 of Agents of SHIELD so it is ENTIRELY POSSIBLE that Dr. Radcliffe will, in fact, die by the end. I CAN ONLY HOPE. But as of episode 12 he is still alive and I want him dead, as dead as a doornail.

my ship that never sailed

Still in mourning for the Bobbi/Simmons that never was. They had such a glorious beginning! Bobbi undercover as a Hydra agent! Threatening Simmons and then saving her life! And Simmons getting all giggly and “She’s amazing” about it!

And then nothing. They barely even get a friendship. WHYYYYYYYYY.

What I’ve Finished Reading

William B. Irvine’s A Slap in the Face: Why Insults Hurt - And Why They Shouldn’t, which is about the history and social function of insults. It includes a chapter about friendly teasing & ambiguous insults, which I found especially interesting, and also a fair amount of space on how to respond to insults - one of the suggestions was to say “Thanks,” which I think is beautiful in its simplicity and ability to throw the insulter off their game. (Probably not for backhanded compliments, but otherwise.)

He also talks about the self-esteem movement a bit, the main point being that the movement saw the correlation between high self-esteem and achievement and got the causation backwards - probably, excuse my grumpiness, because cooing “You’re so special!” at everyone is so much easier than taking the time and effort to foster genuine achievement.

Irvine also makes the point - which ought to be obvious, but lots of commentators seem to miss it - that if the Millennial generation seems narcissistic, it’s because that’s the inevitable outcome of inflicting “You’re Thumbody special!” programs on a generation. You can’t din that in a generation’s ears for years and then act shocked, shocked! when they take narcissism tests and answer “Yes” to the question “Are you special?”

Unread Book Club progress: I finished Virginia Sorenson’s Miracles on Maple Hill, which has lots of delightful detail about tapping maples, wildflowers, the countryside, etc. It doesn’t go very in-depth about Marly’s father’s PTSD, but after all it’s a book about Marly, not her father, and I did think the author did a nice job showing how her father’s less-than-joyous return from a prisoner of war camp has affected Marly while balancing that with the more light-hearted “And then we met the resident mountain hermit!” bits.

What I’m Reading Now

Tolkien’s translation of Sir Gawain and the Green Knight. I must confess I had some concerns about it: I skipped a lot of Tolkien’s poetry when I read Lord of the Rings, and long-form poems in general are not my thing. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised by how much I’m liking it so far. (It helps of course that I already read & liked the story in prose.)

I’ve also started reading Margaret Stohl’s Black Widow: Forever Red, which suffers a bit from not being my Natasha headcanon, ha - but we’ll see if Stohl wins me over to hers as I keep reading. I’ve only just started, so she’s got plenty of time.

What I Plan to Read Next

Warren Lewis’s The Splendid Century: Life in the France of Lewis XIV is waiting for me at the library. Warren Lewis is C. S. Lewis’s brother and mainly remembered for that these days, although (according to The Company They Keep) his books about French history are well-researched and well-wrought reads in their own right. I have long meant to learn more about France and this seemed like a good spur to give that a go.