Tramps and Vagabonds Blurb

[osprey_archer]

I have a draft of a blurb for Tramps and Vagabonds! It is, perhaps, a little too long/detailed? I may be overcorrecting, because some of my older blurbs are definitely shorter and perhaps vaguer than a blurb should be... I blame my experience writing fanfic summaries.

Please let me know what you think! Is anything unclear? Should anything be cut and/or added?

***

“We’re in this together, share and share alike, you said, and you got to let me share the bad too.”

Bold, streetwise James has been riding the rails and living by his wits in the midst of the Great Depression ever since he ran away from his uncle’s house two years ago. When he pauses to catch his breath with a stint at the Civilian Conservation Corps, he meets Timothy, who has never spent a day on the road but sure would like to give it a try.

James figures sweet angel-faced Timothy will last maybe a few days. They’ll jump a train or two, see some of the country, maybe fool around a little. It’s part of the freedom of the road that no one minds much about two boys canoodling. Then Timothy will get tired of slumming it, and head on home.

But Timothy sticks it out. He’s just as much fun as James hoped and then some, and tougher than he looks, too. Soon James and Timothy rely on each other for everything, sharing whatever food and money they can scrounge, and leaning on each other in their troubles, too.

As weeks turn into months and the weather grows cold, James starts to worry. Winter is the dangerous season, and Timothy could easily die if he doesn’t go home. Only Timothy refuses to leave James - and James doesn’t want to lose him. He never realized till now just how stuck he’s gotten on Timothy.

But James can’t stand that he’s keeping Timothy in danger. Can James and Timothy find a place where they can be safe - and stay together?


Content notes for days. Police brutality, general fisticuffs, rampant petty thievery, transactional sex, sexual menace, period-typical attitudes especially toward homosexuality (by which I mean not only homophobia but “Which parties in this sexual interaction are actually considered queer?”), references to child abuse, references to sexual assault. One of my beta-readers said she read half the book peeking through her fingers because it was so emotionally intense. Make of that what you will.

Comments

[skygiants]

What about balancing the stakes to keep the final line punchy -- "James can't stand to keep Timothy in danger, but can he bear to lose him?" Or something like that? (Otherwise, the rest of the summary seems very clear to me! EXTREMELY looking forward to it. :D)

[osprey_archer]

Oh, that's good! Punchy and to the point!

Do you think I should keep that first italicized line? It's a quote from the book and I think it sort of captures the feeling of the story, but possibly putting a pull-quote in the summary is a bad habit I picked up from fanfic.

[skygiants]

Personally I like it! Though I may also have bad habits from fanfic ...

[asakiyume]

I like where you've gotten to with the blurb here! It sounds good, and it will be great to see what cover you get for it.

[osprey_archer]

I'm hoping to have the cover by the end of the month but We Shall See.

[genarti]

I like this ending line a lot!

Blurb advice I've heard on the eroticanons list from people who write better blurbs than I is that your final question shouldn't be a yes/no question -- readers know that "will they find happiness together?" is a yes, just by genre convention. The real question is how will they do this, what will they have to sacrifice for this, how can they balance X and Y and find Z together. Which I think this is implicitly asking, even if it's phrased as a yes/no -- he can't bear to lose him, the reader fills in, so how will the two of them balance those two opposing desires?

[osprey_archer]

Yes, I think the fact there's a tension between the two halves of "James can't stand to keep Timothy in danger, but can he bear to lose him?" sort of makes up for the fact that it's technically a yes/no question. The options are mutually exclusive, so he's got to pick one - but both of them are bad! How to find a way out of this dilemma?