Tramps and Vagabonds Blurb

[osprey_archer]

I have a draft of a blurb for Tramps and Vagabonds! It is, perhaps, a little too long/detailed? I may be overcorrecting, because some of my older blurbs are definitely shorter and perhaps vaguer than a blurb should be... I blame my experience writing fanfic summaries.

Please let me know what you think! Is anything unclear? Should anything be cut and/or added?

***

“We’re in this together, share and share alike, you said, and you got to let me share the bad too.”

Bold, streetwise James has been riding the rails and living by his wits in the midst of the Great Depression ever since he ran away from his uncle’s house two years ago. When he pauses to catch his breath with a stint at the Civilian Conservation Corps, he meets Timothy, who has never spent a day on the road but sure would like to give it a try.

James figures sweet angel-faced Timothy will last maybe a few days. They’ll jump a train or two, see some of the country, maybe fool around a little. It’s part of the freedom of the road that no one minds much about two boys canoodling. Then Timothy will get tired of slumming it, and head on home.

But Timothy sticks it out. He’s just as much fun as James hoped and then some, and tougher than he looks, too. Soon James and Timothy rely on each other for everything, sharing whatever food and money they can scrounge, and leaning on each other in their troubles, too.

As weeks turn into months and the weather grows cold, James starts to worry. Winter is the dangerous season, and Timothy could easily die if he doesn’t go home. Only Timothy refuses to leave James - and James doesn’t want to lose him. He never realized till now just how stuck he’s gotten on Timothy.

But James can’t stand that he’s keeping Timothy in danger. Can James and Timothy find a place where they can be safe - and stay together?


Content notes for days. Police brutality, general fisticuffs, rampant petty thievery, transactional sex, sexual menace, period-typical attitudes especially toward homosexuality (by which I mean not only homophobia but “Which parties in this sexual interaction are actually considered queer?”), references to child abuse, references to sexual assault. One of my beta-readers said she read half the book peeking through her fingers because it was so emotionally intense. Make of that what you will.

Comments

[philomytha]

Oh, this sounds excellent!

[minutia_r]

It's interesting that you seem to have written this blurb in James's voice; that's not something I generally see done, although it does give more of the flavor of the story than the more usual run of wikipedia-neutral-point-of-view. I wouldn't end both sentences in the third paragraph with "..., too" though.

[ellenmillion]

A few random thoughts: I think it would be a stint IN the CCC, not at?

I also feel like we're given a question (will Timothy stick it out?) and then the answer and a timeline, which is less compelling than leaving it a question, and 'starts to worry' is fairly passive. Perhaps something simpler for those last 2 paragraphs, like: When a summer adventure turns into winter hardships, James doesn't want to endanger Timothy, but can he bear to part with him, either?

(This is half a rushed thought, use what's useful.)

[sovay]

I have a draft of a blurb for Tramps and Vagabonds!

I just realized every time I read the title, it gets the folk song "Tramps and Hawkers" stuck in my head, which is more of a feature than a bug because I have very fond memories of being sung that song at a party something like twenty years ago: and if the weather please me fair, I'm happy every day.

Nothing in this blurb is unclear; it feels as though it could be condensed slightly.

“Which parties in this sexual interaction are actually considered queer?”

Ha! Mazel tov! If twenty-first-century labels break down, then you did it right.

[konstantya]

I like it, and like it even better with the suggested changes! The fact that it's (more or less) in James's voice is a point in its favor, I feel--definitely gives it a bit more personality than it would have otherwise.

I'm trying to step back and pretend I don't know the ins and outs of the story, and I'm pretty sure this would have given me a good idea as to what I was getting into, if I'd had it before the beta read? So, success on that front!