Ashlin & Olivia Blurb Rewrite

[osprey_archer]

I've meant to revise Ashlin & Olivia's blurb for years, but the approaching Valentine's Day sale at I Heart Lesfic has finally given me a kick in the pants to get it done... or at least to take a stab at it. Does anyone have any thoughts about how to make this sound more irresistibly blurby?

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After ice queen Ashlin destroyed their intense junior high friendship, Olivia hoped that she’d never see Ashlin again. But years later, when Olivia runs into Ashlin in Florence, Olivia is shocked to discover that she’s just as drawn to Ashlin as ever.

As they wander the streets of Florence, discussing art and eating gelato, Ashlin and Olivia slowly reconnect. Olivia revisits memories of their old friendship and begins to see the past in a new light - and to harbor fragile hopes for a future with Ashlin.

Olivia loves Ashlin. But has cool, reserved Ashlin thawed enough to trust Olivia with her heart?

Comments

[troisoiseaux]

+1 for "intense childhood friendship"! Imo it flows better, and avoids the weird regional (?) junior high/middle school/high school distinction.

[osprey_archer]

It's either regional or it's temporal; I think over time there's been a slow general move toward "middle school" rather than "junior high." Either way, I think it flows better with just one word in between "intense" and "friendship" rather than two.