Book Review: I’ll Give You the Sun
Dec. 27th, 2018 11:28 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
osprey_archerI finished Jandy Nelson’s I’ll Give You the Sun, in which I became reluctantly engrossed, somewhat to my detriment as I became increasingly opposed to one of the main romances. Nelson seems to think the biggest problem with Jude and Oscar’s budding romance is the fact that they are three years apart in age. She’s sixteen; he’s nineteen; for most of the book Oscar believes Jude is his own age and Jude passes by multiple opportunities to correct him.
But in fact that age issue seems like a mere russet flaglet compared to the other gigantic blazing scarlet draperies warning that this relationship may be a Bad Idea.
1. Oscar is a barely-recovering alcoholic who is only saved from relapse at the end of the book because someone literally knocks the drink out of his hand.
2. Jude catches him kissing not one but two other girls. The first time, Oscar assures her that he and the girl are “just friends” - “Does she know that?” Jude asks, and Oscar assures her that she does, but we never actually hear from the girl who just kissed him lingeringly on the mouth so… does she? Oscar has a compelling reason to lie about this. Should we believe him?
The second time round, Jude sneaks into Oscar’s bedroom and discovers that he’s made a sort of collage of photos of Jude with little romantic post-its, only to hear Oscar coming up and hide in the closet… and therefore accidentally eavesdrop on Oscar reassuring another girl that the photos are “just an art project” and mean “nothing,” so either Jude means nothing to him OR he’s A-OK with lying to girls to get into their pants.
Because he’s a super-hot British guy with gorgeous heterochromic eyes, Jude gives him… well, I can’t call it the benefit of the doubt, because there is no doubt to give him the benefit of: either of those possibilities means he’s a cad. She just blindly believes him when he says that he adores her (probably true; they are the main characters in a teen novel) and assumes (possibly incorrectly) that this means he won’t cheat on her constantly and crush her fragile heart. She barely knows him. For all she knows he’s a complete conman.
Now, to be fair to Oscar, the balance of the evidence suggests that he would never hurt her on purpose. It suggests that he’s going to hurt her badly without meaning to do so at all.
3. The one person who does know Oscar pretty well, Jude’s sculptor mentor Guillermo who loves Oscar like a son, nonetheless threatens to cut Oscar’s balls off if he gets involved with Jude. The actual threat is not serious, but the emotion behind it is: Guillermo’s convinced that Oscar will be bad for Jude.
Hell, even Oscar is convinced Oscar will be bad for Jude. He occasionally takes a break from relentlessly pursuing her to tell her so. There is no evidence that this is the product of unrealistic self-loathing on Oscar’s part and every evidence that this is a 100% realistic estimation of his probable effect on Jude’s life.
I think the book is trying to go somewhere with “even damaged people deserve love!” and ends up essentially arguing “if you really love someone, you should plunge forward with the relationship even if there are red neon warning signs saying BAD NEWS” and… Should you? Should you really? By the end Jude and Oscar are clearly all on board the Love Conquers All train, which I strongly suspect will drive them straight over a cliff.
But in fact that age issue seems like a mere russet flaglet compared to the other gigantic blazing scarlet draperies warning that this relationship may be a Bad Idea.
1. Oscar is a barely-recovering alcoholic who is only saved from relapse at the end of the book because someone literally knocks the drink out of his hand.
2. Jude catches him kissing not one but two other girls. The first time, Oscar assures her that he and the girl are “just friends” - “Does she know that?” Jude asks, and Oscar assures her that she does, but we never actually hear from the girl who just kissed him lingeringly on the mouth so… does she? Oscar has a compelling reason to lie about this. Should we believe him?
The second time round, Jude sneaks into Oscar’s bedroom and discovers that he’s made a sort of collage of photos of Jude with little romantic post-its, only to hear Oscar coming up and hide in the closet… and therefore accidentally eavesdrop on Oscar reassuring another girl that the photos are “just an art project” and mean “nothing,” so either Jude means nothing to him OR he’s A-OK with lying to girls to get into their pants.
Because he’s a super-hot British guy with gorgeous heterochromic eyes, Jude gives him… well, I can’t call it the benefit of the doubt, because there is no doubt to give him the benefit of: either of those possibilities means he’s a cad. She just blindly believes him when he says that he adores her (probably true; they are the main characters in a teen novel) and assumes (possibly incorrectly) that this means he won’t cheat on her constantly and crush her fragile heart. She barely knows him. For all she knows he’s a complete conman.
Now, to be fair to Oscar, the balance of the evidence suggests that he would never hurt her on purpose. It suggests that he’s going to hurt her badly without meaning to do so at all.
3. The one person who does know Oscar pretty well, Jude’s sculptor mentor Guillermo who loves Oscar like a son, nonetheless threatens to cut Oscar’s balls off if he gets involved with Jude. The actual threat is not serious, but the emotion behind it is: Guillermo’s convinced that Oscar will be bad for Jude.
Hell, even Oscar is convinced Oscar will be bad for Jude. He occasionally takes a break from relentlessly pursuing her to tell her so. There is no evidence that this is the product of unrealistic self-loathing on Oscar’s part and every evidence that this is a 100% realistic estimation of his probable effect on Jude’s life.
I think the book is trying to go somewhere with “even damaged people deserve love!” and ends up essentially arguing “if you really love someone, you should plunge forward with the relationship even if there are red neon warning signs saying BAD NEWS” and… Should you? Should you really? By the end Jude and Oscar are clearly all on board the Love Conquers All train, which I strongly suspect will drive them straight over a cliff.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-27 07:46 pm (UTC)And yeah, I see what you mean about heading straight off a cliff.
I can get behind a book whose message is that you can go ahead and love damaged people or people with problems, or that if you **are** damaged and have problems, you can still find love--but not if there's lack of acknowledgement or lack of recognition, and definitely not if there's lots of lying going on.
It's not just that the Oscar-position person needs to own up; that person needs to be trying to change things. And it's not just that the Jude-position person needs to acknowledge the situation, that person really needs to understand that and to ponder in their heart what that'll mean going forward.
no subject
Date: 2018-12-27 09:48 pm (UTC)Usually I'm not a big fan of "why don't any of these people get therapy?" as a criticism for books because maybe the author just doesn't want to write about therapy, you know? and humanity survived without therapy for quite a few millennia... but in this case I really felt that all the characters needed therapy and they're hoping that love will save them instead.