The Presidential Sorting Hat

[osprey_archer]

zodiacal_light commented on my Teddy Roosevelt post that she'd had a conversation about sorting presidents into Hogwarts houses recently. I think this sounds like the MOST FUN EVER, and clearly no serious historical inquiry is complete without Hogwarts houses, so...let the games begin!

Teddy himself, of course, is a Gryffindor. He's obviously clever enough to go into Ravenclaw - in between big game hunting and being president he wrote like twenty books - but he valued courage above all else: his endless paeans to the active life, his love of hunting, his brief stint as a cowboy, during which he citizen-arrested a couple of horse thieves and dragged them quite a ways to the nearest sheriff's office...

Also, when the Spanish-American War broke out, he quit his job to muster a volunteer regiment to invade Cuba. They charged gloriously up San Juan hill. It is such a Gryffindor thing to do.

Other Gryffindors: Andrew Jackson, much as I hate him. (It always bothered me that the Gryffindors are always good in Harry Potter. Courage is an important part of being a good person, but it's not a magical stairway to heaven.) Possibly Grant? I don't know enough about him to decide definitively - I'm going mostly on the fact that he's a general, and they're brave, right? (He's clearly not a Slytherin. No political sense at all.)

However, our other two general presidents, Washington and Eisenhower, I'd both put in Hufflepuff: Washington for his vast sense of duty, and Eisenhower because of his avuncular geniality. They weren't overwhelming clever or brash or cunning, but they were great stabilizing forces, and both very popular in their times. Hufflepuff presidents: surprisingly effective!

(Hufflepuff never really recovers from its presentation in the first Harry Potter book. Slytherin may be evil, but Hufflepuff is the "oh no don't sort me there!" house.)

I'd say Thomas Jefferson as a Ravenclaw: clearly a very bright man, and completely incapable of seeing how his high-falutin ideals might apply to his actual life. This disconnect between thinking and doing seems Ravenclaw to me. I'd put Lincoln here too, although you might be able to claim him - surprisingly enough - for Slytherin, because he was an exceptionally clever politician. But Slytherins generally seem to lack the moral sense that is so central to understanding Lincoln, so he doesn't quite fit. (My dad is a Lincoln buff. It's rubbed off on me.)

And Wilson is so a Ravenclaw, too. I'd like to put him in Slytherin, purely out of spleen, but he clearly doesn't have the cunning God gave a goose so that would work.

And Slytherin? Tricky Dick Nixon, obviously. Otherwise it's hard to tell...it feels like a massive indictment of character to say "This guy! He's a Slytherin! JUST LIKE VOLDEMORT." But if we're including non-presidential founding fathers...Alexander Hamilton. Slytherin all the way.

Comments? Questions? Furious rebuttals? Anyone I totally should have sorted who I missed?

Comments

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I'd put Obama in Ravenclaw too: he's not only very bright, but also very obvious about it, despite the fact that it clearly alienates some people.

I also tend to associate idealism with Ravenclaw, simply because there's no where else it would fit. The Slytherins would have no interest, and the Hufflepuffs seem too feet-on-the-ground to go in for that. The Gryffindors might go in for it, but Hermione seems to be the only one who does, and everyone else thinks it's a bit ridiculous really.

You could also make an argument for Slytherin, perhaps, but I think that's an easy argument to make for really any of the modern presidents. You just don't end up in high office without a burning flame of ambition these days. But the game's no fun if everyone's a Slytherin, you know?

[novangla.livejournal.com]

I'd do Obama in Ravenclaw as well.

BUT I see idealism as a very Gryffindor trait that Claws /can/ share. Sure, Hermione's the only one that goes on little strikes and protests and elf rights, but she was the only one in the class, and she was a Gryffindor. ...if that makes sense? And I think idealism tends to go more hand-in-hand with chivalry, courage, doing what's right, over intelligence and wit and learning. Though I wouldn't be surprised if the idealists are typically Gryffinclaws, because the combo makes for someone barreling forward for an intellectual ideal more likely.

Then again, I don't think Obama's much of an idealist.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

But he does - or at least did - talk the talk of idealism really well, and while a Slytherin would probably try that if they saw the possibility of political gain, I think their basic insincerity would come through. I mean, just imagine Richard Nixon giving an idealistic speech about hope, joy, and world peace. He'd probably gag on his tongue halfway through.

Hmm. I think idealism in the Hogwarts houses is something I need to think more about. It doesn't seem to be something JKR was really interested in - Hermione's crusades are pretty much played for laughs - so there's not much to work with.

Maybe separating the Gryffindors & Ravenclaws is part of an underhanded scheme on the part of the Hogwarts founders to ensure that idealism never picks up steam and thus preserve the status quo, because I think idealism is a very Gryffinclaw trait - it requires both courage and intellect - but the way the houses are set up, no one socializes with people outside their house too much.