The Presidential Sorting Hat

[osprey_archer]

zodiacal_light commented on my Teddy Roosevelt post that she'd had a conversation about sorting presidents into Hogwarts houses recently. I think this sounds like the MOST FUN EVER, and clearly no serious historical inquiry is complete without Hogwarts houses, so...let the games begin!

Teddy himself, of course, is a Gryffindor. He's obviously clever enough to go into Ravenclaw - in between big game hunting and being president he wrote like twenty books - but he valued courage above all else: his endless paeans to the active life, his love of hunting, his brief stint as a cowboy, during which he citizen-arrested a couple of horse thieves and dragged them quite a ways to the nearest sheriff's office...

Also, when the Spanish-American War broke out, he quit his job to muster a volunteer regiment to invade Cuba. They charged gloriously up San Juan hill. It is such a Gryffindor thing to do.

Other Gryffindors: Andrew Jackson, much as I hate him. (It always bothered me that the Gryffindors are always good in Harry Potter. Courage is an important part of being a good person, but it's not a magical stairway to heaven.) Possibly Grant? I don't know enough about him to decide definitively - I'm going mostly on the fact that he's a general, and they're brave, right? (He's clearly not a Slytherin. No political sense at all.)

However, our other two general presidents, Washington and Eisenhower, I'd both put in Hufflepuff: Washington for his vast sense of duty, and Eisenhower because of his avuncular geniality. They weren't overwhelming clever or brash or cunning, but they were great stabilizing forces, and both very popular in their times. Hufflepuff presidents: surprisingly effective!

(Hufflepuff never really recovers from its presentation in the first Harry Potter book. Slytherin may be evil, but Hufflepuff is the "oh no don't sort me there!" house.)

I'd say Thomas Jefferson as a Ravenclaw: clearly a very bright man, and completely incapable of seeing how his high-falutin ideals might apply to his actual life. This disconnect between thinking and doing seems Ravenclaw to me. I'd put Lincoln here too, although you might be able to claim him - surprisingly enough - for Slytherin, because he was an exceptionally clever politician. But Slytherins generally seem to lack the moral sense that is so central to understanding Lincoln, so he doesn't quite fit. (My dad is a Lincoln buff. It's rubbed off on me.)

And Wilson is so a Ravenclaw, too. I'd like to put him in Slytherin, purely out of spleen, but he clearly doesn't have the cunning God gave a goose so that would work.

And Slytherin? Tricky Dick Nixon, obviously. Otherwise it's hard to tell...it feels like a massive indictment of character to say "This guy! He's a Slytherin! JUST LIKE VOLDEMORT." But if we're including non-presidential founding fathers...Alexander Hamilton. Slytherin all the way.

Comments? Questions? Furious rebuttals? Anyone I totally should have sorted who I missed?

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I LOVE this concept. Little Springtime shares your opinion of Hamilton, whom I'm rather fond of, for rising from an ignoble past by virtue of his smarts (.... although, you know? Yeah, maybe he *is* a Slytherin)

How about Woodrow Wilson? Hufflepuff? Ravenclaw? And FDR? Definitely Gryffindor?

[anomilygrace.livejournal.com]

I love sorting random people/characters into Harry Potter Houses. It's just a Good Thing To Do. I think an argument could be made for Nixon being a Ravenclaw because he was incredibly smart and the smart kind of tips into 'I am smarter than these jackasses why aren't they doing what I say?' type of ambition.

Obviously Slytherin makes lots of sense too, but I think the argument could be made.

Also I so agree with Hamilton's placement. The man is without a doubt my favorite Founding Father, but he's such a Slytherin.

John Adams would be a Ravenclaw though.

[isiscolo.livejournal.com]

Oh, HEE. I used to play these Sorting Hat games all the time, but it never occurred to me to sort presidents!

John Adams would be Gryffindor, I think; independence, and damn the torpedos! (Wait, wrong war...) I totally agree on Jefferson as Ravenclaw. Jimmy Carter's a Ravenclaw, too.

Benjamin Franklin is my favorite Slytherin. He was always quick to take whatever chance presented itself and turn it to his advantage however he could. I mean, a GOOD Slytherin. I do think that they could have moral sense; I think their core qualities are craftiness and a strong self-interest. Perhaps Reagan as a Slytherin?

Ford was a Hufflepuff. Ditto Bush junior.

[cucumberseed.livejournal.com]

Thinking about the presidents in my lifetime...
Gerald Ford: Hufflepuff, no question. Surrounded by Slytherins.
Jimmy Carter: Difficult, actually, because he could have been in any of the houses but Slytherin; I suppose I would put him in Hufflepuff as well. I suspect that's where he would sort himself.
Ronald Reagan: Slytherin. Holy crap. Made a career of looking like a Gryffindor.
George H W Bush: Ravenclaw. Scary Ravenclaw.
Bill Clinton: Also Slytherin. One of my favorite Slytherins, maybe, but I've got to go with my instincts, not my partisan instincts.
George W Bush: Hufflepuff. Surrounded by Slytherins. Mostly the same Slytherins as Ford.
Barack Obama: Ravenclaw.

I don't think we've had a Gryffindor in high office in a long time... Kennedy? You could make a case for Slytherin, too, I suppose. Truman? Truman could have been a Gryffindor or a Ravenclaw...

[bogwitch64.livejournal.com]

More recent presidents:
Obama: Gryffindor. The charisma, the courage, the grace--yeah. Whatever else anyone says about him, he's a Gryffindor.

Bush GW: much as I'd like to put him in Slitherin, he's just not smart enough. I'd have to put him in Hufflepuff.

Clinton: Ravenclaw. The man might not be able to keep it in his pants, but he's brilliant.

Bush GH: Slytherin, without a doubt. Man's as slick as a greased weasle.

Regan: Slytherin, but surprisingly, he'd be more along the lines of Horace Slughorn than the really greasy baddies.

Carter: Egads! Hufflepuff all the way!

Ford: I call Hufflepuff as a default, though he could go into Gryffindor as a default too.

Nixon: you called it! Slytherin.

Johnson: Ravenclaw. He was a downhome boy, but brilliant. He also knew when to call it quits!

Kennedy: Gryffindor (though you could make a good case for Slytherin too.)