Applications applications applications ARGH

[osprey_archer]

The never-ending saga of grad school applications continues. Wrote a longer Statement of Purpose. Ordered more transcripts. Fretted about my study abroad transcripts. Had a meltdown. "WHAT IF EVERY SINGLE GRAD SCHOOL REJECTS ME?"

At which point everyone cried, "Stop worrying! You'll get in!" which is SO UNHELPFUL, because:

1. Though I may at this moment sound like a basket case, my self-esteem does not in fact need propping. I already know I'm all that and a bag of chips.

And, more importantly,

2. Is the thought that I might not get into grad school so terrible that we can't even discuss it? I'm not demanding a detailed contingency plan! Merely admitting to the existence of contingency plans would be nice.

No one ever plans for things to go wrong. I had a friend who flunked freshman year of college and another friend who realized that she hated her major and absolutely had to change it at Christmas break of her senior year, and both of them are still in the thralls of nervous breakdowns because they didn't plan for life to be like this.

Not that either of those circumstances are ones you can plan for; and not that having a contingency plan is going to preclude a nervous breakdown if I don't get into any of my grad schools. But at least it might lessen its duration?

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I guess your friends offer up the "Stop worrying; you'll get in!" because it's just that inconceivable that you wouldn't.

But by all means, make a contingency plan, if that helps... so long as it doesn't distract too much from the applications... unless, of course, your enthusiasm for grad school is dimming, in which case the contingency plan could morph into something more than that. But I don't think your enthusiasm has waned that much.

For the sake of conversation, what style of contingency plan would you contemplate? Teaching English abroad? Helping at an animal refuge in Costa Rica? Peace Corps? Something else entirely?

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

My enthusiasm for grad school hasn't waned. My enthusiasm for grad school applications, though...Well, I can't say that's actually waned. It was never particularly high to begin with.

This is the problem with contingency plans: I don't actually have any idea what I would do next year if I don't get into grad school. I want to be closer to my friends, but we're all at a stage in our lives where it isn't really feasible to plan that, because most people don't know where they're going to be next year.

[goldjadeocean.livejournal.com]

*therapist hat* Having a contingency plan is an excellent idea. (It's an anxiety-reducing technique I've heard called "facing the gate of death"--confront the absolute worst outcome, and plan how to survive it) It can include things like, "If I don't get into grad school, can I still see myself as intelligent/interesting/worthwhile?" or "Am I able to tell people I didn't get into grad school without them losing all respect for me?" as well as more practical matters.

(I didn't do it on purpose, but over time, my contingency plans came to incorporate pleasant alternatives: "If I don't get into grad school, I'll go get [plausible job] and make money and buy chocolate every week." Then if what I want happens, I almost think, "Aww, now I have to go to grad school and eat ramen." And obviously that's something I'm willing to do, but it keeps the preferred outcome from being the only tolerable outcome.)

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I've not answered this because I've been cogitating about the questions - specifically the first one, because I think the answer to the second is "Yes, probably." I've had other friends who ran into academic difficulties, and as far as I know nobody (well, no one who actually matters) has lost respect for them because of it.

But I really don't know how I would feel about myself if I don't get in to any grad schools at all.

[entwashian.livejournal.com]

I will help you plan!

1 - Join the circus.
2 - Become a nun.
3 - Win American Idol.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Sadly I cannot sing, so #3 is out.

How about we combine #1 and #2 and I become a trapeze nun?

[entwashian.livejournal.com]

You can take voice lessons. I guess we ought to get on that if it is to be your back-up to the back-up.

Fair! I hear that flying nuns are generally well received by the public.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

OR! OR! I can be a flying cannonball nun.

At a crucial moment in my act, I will cry "Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition!"

[entwashian.livejournal.com]

I think we have this contingency plan thing pretty much under control now.

[anait.livejournal.com]

Though I may at this moment sound like a basket case, my self-esteem does not in fact need propping. I already know I'm all that and a bag of chips.

:D And How!

Hey, if it makes you feel more Zen about life, by all means make contingency plans. :)

Though add me to the list of people who think you're a shoe-in!

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

What can I say? I may seem modest on the outside, but that's just a cover for my insufferable egotism.

[anait.livejournal.com]

Har!

:D

[mischiefiable.livejournal.com]

Yikes!!! Breathe!!!!! LOL!!!

It will at least work out for the best!

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Deep breaths. Deeeeeeeeeeeep breaths.

[artemis_wandering]

Have you checked out GradCafe?: http://forum.thegradcafe.com/ It's a great forum for everything from complaining about filling out apps, advice on how to, general discussion with fellow applicants and those who made it in, etc. And I remember, last year when I was on it (again) there was a great post about the things people tell you about getting into grad school (because they just don't get it) and things to tell them in response. It was so accurate!

I certainly understand your worries; I've been through that twice. :P But just do the best on those apps, make sure everything is done on time, and you'll feel so much better. And good luck!!