Transportation is Fun!

[osprey_archer]

You know how girls are supposed to go through a horse-mad phase? I didn’t do that.

Or rather, I did (Saddle Club books FOR THE WIN), but it summarily ended when I actually rode a horse. The creature was five times bigger than me and I couldn’t control it, so it would occasionally decide that it wanted to head back to the dude ranch and then one of the rancher people would have to grab it by the bridle and drag it back in line, while I clung on, chin high but wobbling, dignity irretrievably lost.

I was very big on dignity when I was eight.

So I gave up on horses, despite all the wonderful horse words there are. Appaloosa! Palomino! Lippizaner! The gait seen only in Icelandic ponies that’s like a trot, except smooth, and is called a tolt! There are enough words in the world that giving up a small galaxy of horse words wouldn’t impoverish me too much.

This is a minor problem because I want to write fantasy novels, and there are people who appear to read fantasy novels solely in order to indulge their adoration of horses. (I’m exaggerating. I hope.) Therefore, errors in horsemanship, unlike errors in currency or governmental structure, will be noted and mocked.

So I need an alternative mode of transportation. Zebras can’t be domesticated. Donkeys lack dignity. Llamas are too small. Goats and gazelles are too small. Reindeer or mountain goats or ibexes would be cool because they could have impromptu horn fights in the middle of battle, but again: too small!

Perhaps the fantasy people should be gnome-sized.

But if they were going to be that small they might as well be able to ride something with wings. Except any bird big enough to carry anyone is going to be hell to keep in food.

So back to land animals. Yaks? “Justina raised her sword and ululated “Onward, Bessie!” as she and her yak charged down the incline into the swarm of enemy soldiers….” Besides, I think they’re too small, too.

So here’s the question. How off-putting would it be if a bicycle suddenly rolled onstage in a fantasy? (The technology level is such that it would support it—paddlewheel steamboats, trains, etc.)

I suppose if the bicycle is a problem the trains would be right out too, though.

Maybe I should just give everyone wings…?

Comments

[goldjadeocean.livejournal.com]

Boats. Boats boats boats. Which are actually harder to fake in writing than horses. Seriously, a lot of the "horsemanship" in fantasy novels is... kinda crap.

The main problem with the bicycle is that it needs fairly good roads. Early bikes are pretty bad at rough terrain.

Edit: Oh hey! Reindeer!

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I love boats--they create a nice, enclosed area to tell a story. Also, as long as the characters are just passengers on the boat, they don't have to deal with the technical details of it; all they or the readers will care about is that the boat moves. The solution falls apart when you get down to canoes or kayaks, though.

The problem with boats is that they don't solve quite the same problem as horses; no matter how amazing the country's canal system is, there are still going to be places that can't be reached by water.

Although reindeer could reach those places (if it was a cold country). Wikipedia informs me that Siberian reindeer are large enough to ride, soooo... Doesn't say how fast they go, though.

Of course, in a cold country there could be dogsleds, too, which could be fun. I suspect those also are exceptionally hard to write well, though, (and probably harder to fact-check than horses).

There are just too darn many possible modes of transportation.

[enemyfrigate.livejournal.com]

Horses are so much more versatile than practically any other beast of burden/machine of burden, it's hard to see a viable replacement in that type of world. However! finding a believable alternate for real world facts is just what fantasy novels are really about.

I think the bike idea is pretty neat, actually, though I don't see how they'd be used with traditional medieval/renaissance type weapons. But that could be part of worldbuilding too.

You could also consider camels. And if there are good roads, draft animals to pull carts, sleds etc. (Ranging from yaks to dogs).

As an equestrian, it pleases me that you wish to avoid making people like me froth with rage by writing badly about horses/riding (though there are plenty of us who would happily explain at great and possibly unwanted length exactly what you need to know. Also, well trained horses do not do the things you remember from your childhood. Dude ranch horses tend to be a serious pain because they are ridden by beginners and are allowed to get away with all sorts of shit).

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Yeah, after I'd read enough reviews in which equestrian-type people wrote "....yeah, despite the book's merits I had to ritually tear it to pieces and burn it page by page because of the bad treatment of horses," I decided that avoiding the frothing rage of the horse-mad was probably the better part of wisdom.

Do you know any basic books about horses? Obviously real experience would be better, but books are so much cheaper and will do until I have a heroine who feels the need to rampage over the mountains on horseback, because the roads there are just not good enough for bicycles.

Probably the bicycles won't be used in battle, because they wouldn't be useful at all on battle terrain, so their incompatibility with lances is a moot point. The bicycles are more for traveling or possibly mail delivery, in regions with decent roads.

I bet someone has tried to have a jousting tournament with bicycles, though. That would be hilarious.

[enemyfrigate.livejournal.com]

The thing with specialized knowledge in SF/Fantasy is that a large part of your target audience probably does know all about it, and it's hard to get it right.

Re: horse books. It all depends on what you want to learn, but some basic stuff should be available through the local library. Go for things called Encyclopedia of the Horse, big general books. That'd give you a good overview and a feel for the lingo. If you have specific questions, let me know. If I don't know the answer, I can probably point you in the right direction.

If you do keep horses around as a means of transportation/war, and you don't intend to have your main characters do major stuff involving horses, than you could probably leave them in. Remember, at most points in history, and in most Western European cultures, only the elite/well-off had riding horses. They're expensive to keep, for one, require skilled training, aren't basically rideable 'til they are three or four -- so your characters may not have much experience with them either. A lot more people *walked* than rode.

Another option is to keep horses in, and use them as functions, i.e. the character rides the horse to get to where he is going, but it's more like a person who is NOT a car fanatic driving a car. It's a convenience.

Also, you can always have your character knowing little about horses and then beginning to use them for transport, which allows him to not know much, and possibly not care.

I think writers run into trouble when they don't have a horse savvy (or ship savvy, or meadmaking savvy) person take a look at the manuscript.

The other thing to do is to take a few riding lessions somewhere. This costs a bit, but you don't have to make a big commitment, and if you really want to stick with horses in the book, then it will give you a feel for some of it.

Bicycle jousting search: http://www.google.com/search?sourceid=navclient&ie=UTF-8&rlz=1T4TSHB_en___US203&q=%2b%22bicycle+jousting%22

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

People actually bicycle joust.

My life is complete.

I'll keep you in mind if I run into really intensive horse scenes, and I'll probably look into riding lessons. Plenty of time over the summer, after all.

[girl-called-sun.livejournal.com]

I see two options;

1)Fantasy - so create a fantastical animal to convey your characters. It could be like a giant alpaca, or an athletic, larger yak, or a husky big enough to ride.

2)Otherwise, I would second the camel idea (there would be so much in the way of humour!) or, I humbly offer - an emu! Or an ostrich. Big enough to ride, fast, and you could carry over traditional horse weaponry. They would have been specially bred for generations to be big enough and trainable enough to make suitable mounts.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Emus are too small--even the biggest weigh less than me--but ostriches might work, especially with selective breeding. Although emus would have an advantage in that they would terrify anyone riding against them--they are really ugly birds.

An ostrich messenger service could be very amusing. I think that in actual fact ostriches are probably slower the horses, but the advertisements could focus on the fact that they're BIRDS which are naturally fast (and possibly mislead people by having the ostriches fly on their advertisements). It could be fun.

[girl-called-sun.livejournal.com]

Yes, didn't do my emu research before I wrote that comment....

Ostriches in a specialised ostrich messenger service sounds fantastic! It could be the budget service, as opposed to expensive horses. I'm a little bit of a horse person, but I can't add anything useful to what ememyfrigate said - very good advice.

PS - some of the nomadic tribes in northern mongolia do ride reindeer (the ones farther south use ponies, or camels). They herd the others using them.