My Elf Policy

[osprey_archer]

You may not steal my children
nor yet my neighbour's children
not even when my neighbour's children jump at six AM.
You may have unearthly beauty,
but you may not steal hearts, souls, or nursemaids,
nor sacrifice my friends to hell.

The rest of the poem is here, and it just gets better as it goes.

And! As a bonus! In the comments to that post, there is another poem about elves which is even BETTER!

If you lose your elf, we will replace it
or provide a pot of gold of equivalent value
up to the mean Rainbow Standard
adjusted for inflation.

Okay, the excerpt of the beginning makes it sound like nothing more than a parody, but it builds to a brilliant crescendo.

Comments

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

I read and loved the first, but I should go back and read the second.

The conclusion of the second was good, I agree :-)

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Yes; it's a pretty standard example of its genre till the last two lines, but those are brilliant.