Book Review: How to Be Ultra Spiritual

[osprey_archer]

I had high hopes for the hilarity of JP Sears How to Be Ultra Spiritual, because the cover on Netgalley amused me so much, but unfortunately the rest of the book was never as funny as the cover; I didn't laugh out loud once. Possibly I haven't read enough fatuous New Age-y self-help manuals for a satire of them to really speak to me?

Although I think it's also an issue that Sears is trying to skewer everything at once - spirituality as a status symbol ("I meditate for three hours every morning"), the social media dance of looking for attention without trying to look like you're looking for attention, modern Western society's whole weirdly diseased relationship with the need for attention ("Begging people to notice you is the biggest character defect this side of killing baby dolphins"). So his satire is biting but also somewhat scattershot.

Actually, I've been thinking about this recently, the fact that almost everyone wants and needs attention and yet one of the nastiest things you can say to someone is "You're only doing X for attention." It doesn't even matter which X you're doing. Putting on make-up? Exercising an artistic talent? Displaying a symptom of mental illness? God help you if it's not 100% internally directed.

And of course almost nothing that anyone does is 100% internally directed (especially not things we take the trouble of posting on the internet), so this is an insult that always hits its mark.

Anyway, the book. It's not a very funny book, which is kind of a fatal defect in a humor book.

Comments

[thisbluespirit]

It's not a very funny book, which is kind of a fatal defect in a humor book.

Indeed! The book lies dead, I fear. Stabbed in the heart with a pointed review. ;-)

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I felt sometimes that there was a funny book in there, trying to get out - surely there are some hilarious things to be said about the modern take on spirituality? But alas, the funny book never emerged from its cocoon.

on the theme of wanting attention

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

The thing about wanting attention is it's a proxy for two different things: love and friendship, which I think people agree is an okay thing to want, but also fame and status, which people have more mixed feelings about. I think when people want attention, especially online, it's wanting a mixture of those things.

I've always felt like if someone wants attention, why not give them some? I don't understand why people's default reaction to someone wanting something would be to say no. I guess there's a mentality of "It'll only encourage them," but on the contrary, if people are trying to get your attention and you ignore them, then it seems to me they're likely to do more and louder and extreme-er than they were before.

But re: the book, yeah. Lack of humor is a fatal flaw in a humor book.

Re: on the theme of wanting attention

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I think if a ploy for attention is very obvious, it can make people feel manipulated and not want to give any attention just out of contrariness. I knew a girl in college who could get drunk on ludicrously small amounts of alcohol, and the first few times it happened we all fluttered around trying to take care of her, but when she kept doing it we all got cranky. Why should she be allowed to spoil everyone else's evening?

So I guess that sort of answers my question: we're stingy with our attention because attention isn't actually free. At the very least it costs time, and there's a certain amount of energy involved in trying to be sympathetic to someone who, say, you strongly suspect is pretending to be far drunker than she is in order to remain the center of attention.

Re: on the theme of wanting attention

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I agree with this analysis. It's not even just contrariness; it's a sense that things that are precious to you are threatened.

Re: on the theme of wanting attention

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Yeah. With more extreme attention-seeking behaviors particularly, I think there's often a sense that people are trying to force greater intimacy, and most of us want to be left free to choose our own intimate friends. And to have time to spend with the people we choose, rather than shoveling energy down a seemingly endless pit of neediness we maybe didn't want to befriend in the first place.

But if the person needing attention is a friend or a relative or someone we've already decided to make an investment in, that's a different situation, and in that case "if someone wants attention, why not give them some?" makes a lot more sense.

Re: on the theme of wanting attention

[asakiyume.livejournal.com]

And, too, it's not an all-or-nothing thing. Like with panhandlers (thinking back to responses I got to that entry)--just because you choose to give a dollar, or a packet of crackers and water, one time doesn't mean you have to the next time, or that you have to empty out your savings account. So, with the attention seeking, you can decide you'll, for example, say hello and listen to a tale of drama and woe on your way to class, but turn down invitations to get together or become closer friends.

I definitely don't like people trying to force greater intimacy, too--it makes me withdraw like whoa.

[wordsofastory.livejournal.com]

Alas, another dud. I've felt like the last month or two NetGalley has been a bit barren, but the last week has suddenly taken off (new books for 2017? I have no idea what explains the timing), and I've requested 6 things in 2 days.

Anyway, sorry to hear the book didn't live up to expectations! Your observation on wanting attention is interesting, though.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I suppose books on Netgalley just come in waves. There's nothing for a while, and then suddenly! Fascinating books appear!