In which I am a curmudgeon

[osprey_archer]

My school had an Alternative Giving Fair today, where different student groups set up booths advertising their sponsored charities, so students could pick a charity, give some cash, and get a nice card to send to Grandma or whoever about how they’d given some money to charity, Merry Christmas, that’s your present for the year.

On the one hand, the whole charity fair thing is cool. You have all these charities to compare and contrast, right at your fingertips.

On the other hand, I don’t think giving to charity and then sending Grandma a card that says “Hey, Granny, I donated ten bucks to Heifer International! Merry Christmas!” actually counts as a Christmas present.

First, the performance aspect bothers me. Giving charitable donations as a gift seems like bragging about them, which is just Not On.

Second, this really feeds the idea that Christmas gifts are about money and nothing more. But gifts aren’t, or shouldn’t be, about money; they’re about generosity and stopping to take the time to care about other people.

Giving a charitable donation and calling it a gift isn’t generosity. It’s trying to kill two birds with one stone when the whole point of generosity is giving more, not giving as little as you can to scrape a pass.

And, okay, if you’re too poor to both give to charity and buy Christmas presents, I can see how this is tempting, but seriously? The only way to give Christmas presents is to buy them? Bake cookies. Offer to do someone’s laundry. Baby-sit for an evening, free of charge. The point is to do something caring and personal.

Whereas giving to charity and pretending that’s a gift is…. “Here’s a crappy Christmas card that says I gave someone else something. Now I’m going to bask in warm, smug fuzzies about my awesome social conscience, when in fact I’m a miser who couldn’t unclasp her grinchly fingers from her bank account or her heart to give to both charity and her friends.”

Because it really is possible to do both.

Comments

[visualthinker11.livejournal.com]

i agree with that... on the other hand i feel like there's nothing wrong with reminding people charities exist and could use help...

...how would you feel about recieving fresh-baked cookies and a crappy christmas card? would that be okay or just seem stingy?

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Freshly baked cookies and a crappy Christmas card would be an excellent present. In fact, from most people just a Christmas card would be a decent present; it's the idea that giving money to a charity is somehow a gift to me that I object to, not the card itself.

[thepurpletyrant.livejournal.com]

I'm going to disagree a bit; I think that if the cause is something the giftee feels strongly about, or has some catch that would make it special to them that it can be a very good present.

I "bought" a sheep to go to an impoverished family from Oxfam America as a gift my mom last year. She knits and weaves like crazy, which means she owns more wool than anyone could go through in a lifetime. I thought it would be a neat gift because its both related to her interests and it goes to a good cause. My mom said that it was her favorite present she got that year. We celebrate Hanukkah, and she decided on having one night this year where all of gifts will go towards charity.

Granted, the sheep wasn't my only gift to her, but I still think that it can be a good gift if the charity is something receiver feels strongly about or ties into their interests.

I also have a friend who asked that anyone who wanted to buy him gift for his birthday, instead donate to a charity.

It's all about knowing that it's something the person would appreciate.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

It's different if the person actually asks for donations to charity instead of presents, I think. It doesn't have the same undertone of "If you were a good person you wouldn't want all those greedy, materialistic presents" that unsolicited charitable donations in lieu of gifts can have.

Although having one night of Hanukkah reserved for charitable gifts doesn't push my buttons the way that charitable gifts generally do. Maybe because there are seven other nights to give gift gifts, so it isn't an either/or choice?