Oh, what the heck

[osprey_archer]

A meme, via surexit:

Pick any passage of 500 words or less from any story I've written, and comment to this post with that selection. I will then give you the equivalent of a DVD commentary on that snippet: what I was thinking when I wrote it, why I wrote it in the first place, what's going on in the character's heads, why I chose certain words, what this moment means in the context of the rest of the fic, lots of awful puns, and anything else that you’d expect to find on a DVD commentary track.

Comments

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Ha, I will try to be insightful about this without actually giving away any important plot points!

It would not have befitted the honor of the House of Loristan or the nation of Samavia for Marco to pace back and forth on the throne dais in front of his entire court. Therefore Marco sat in his throne, a little below his father’s, as calm as if the eyes and the whispers of the court were not fixed on him.

Marco gets watched all the time, being the prince, so he’s used to it – though usually it’s not quite this acute. I suspect the Rat had more trouble adjusting – because of course he’d be under observation too, as the prince’s closest companion.

The mocking gaze of the Jiardasian ambassador, dashing in his short velvet cape, especially vexed Marco. The ambassador looked as self-satisfied as a cat, his white teeth flashing occasionally when he could not fight back his smile any longer. “Where is Captain Ratcliffe?” he asked, just loud enough that Marco could hear, and it took all Marco’s self-control to remain calm in his seat.

The Rat would be here soon, he told himself. He would be here at any moment, and then he would explain everything, and they would trust him again. They should never have doubted him, when he had helped bring the message across Europe to Samavia. But of course they did not know the Rat like Marco did.

And they could not forget that the Rat was British. “He is a foreigner,” General Sapt had said, his voice gruff, during the Cabinet meeting that had led to this gathering in the throne room.

General Sapt is named after Colonel Sapt from Anthony Hope’s Ruritania books. I thought there might be some fandom overlap, as Prisoner of Zenda is just like The Lost Prince except with actual swashbuckling (although no bestest best friend ever. There is an attractive villain, if you’re into that…), but not so far.

“I’m a foreigner,” Marco pointed out with asperity.

The cabinet was so shocked that no one spoke. “Oh no, sir,” said old Tamboran, who was in charge of the exchequer. “A Loristan could never be a foreigner.”

After five hundred years away, the Loristans are not particularly Samavian; the customs of the country, even its language, have surely evolved since they left. Maybe this wouldn’t be a problem at all; Queen Victoria was awfully German for a queen of England, for instance, and the Romanovs spoke French rather than Russian at home.

But The Lost Prince takes place during the time period where this sort of cosmopolitan royalty was becoming really at odds with nationalism…so maybe it would be an issue.

Even if it didn’t become a political issue, I suspect it’s something that causes Marco occasional discomfort. He worries that he won’t be Samavian enough to rule well.

And Marco had not pressed the matter, because he knew that he had to be Samavian for them, even if he still sometimes felt hopelessly confused by the customs of the country that he would one day rule.

Marco wished the Rat would arrive. Despite his resolve to sit still and dignified, he briefly touched his father’s signet ring. If only his father were here!

But Stefan Loristan was away, calming Kaiser Wilhelm from another one of his rages. Marco could not call him back from a mission that was of such importance to Europe. Certainly not for something as minor as this.

Stefan Loristan saves Europe from both World Wars! I am so curious what this alternate history would look like. Are the Romanovs still on the throne in 2013?

Minor.

But it was minor, Marco told himself fiercely. He and the Rat would laugh about it that evening, sitting in front of Marco’s fire.

The throne room, hitherto buzzing quietly, fell abruptly silent. The Rat had entered.

I like this line. So dramatic!

[surexit.livejournal.com]

I need to reread Prisoner of Zenda. There definitely should be overlap!

And yes, I am aaaaaall about the Loristans not quite being Samavian. They've been away for a long long time, and it must cause them angst!

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Are we sure that Loristan is capable of angst? I think Marco can angst if he got pushed far enough, but Loristan just seems so rock solid.

He might do gentle sighs of regret when he comes up against yet another Samavian custom that he doesn't understand. (I wonder what odd customs Samavia has. Someday we should invent some. We've already got the alcoholic aphrodisiac from your story...)

[surexit.livejournal.com]

I BET HE COULD. REALLY REALLY SECRETLY. I want to write something Stefan-centric, he fascinates me.

(THERE MUST BE LOADS. Ummm, I thought they might have a weird calendar - that's why the Samavian new year's at the wrong time in the fic as well. And there should be songs! Songs that every Samavian knows! Not the stirring patriotic ones, I bet the Loristans know those, but, like, the equivalent of 'Show Me The Way To Go Home' which everyone sings when they're drunk in the UK.)

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Maybe they cling to the Julian calendar for reasons of their own! Do we know what religion they have? Presumably it's some variety of Christian, but...Catholic? Samavian Orthodox? (Do they have a patron saint? We could make up an awesome tale of martyrdom.)

And I bet they do have a special Samavian drinking song. Probably also a special Samavian liquor (aside from the aphrodisiac.) Do they seem like a beer country or a distilled liquor country? The mountains might get in the way of wine-making.

[surexit.livejournal.com]

I was thinking Samavian Orthodox! And then getting really interested in the potential issues of the Rat being (nominally) Anglican. I don't think he's a church goer or sees it as a big deal while in England, but there would have to be some negotiation - would he convert to become more superficially Samavian? Or would he cling to Anglicanism as a remnant of his mother and his country? Would he not care at all? Would that be a problem? Do the Samavian nobility expect at least an outward show of religiosity? SO POTENTIALLY FASCINATING.

I vote distilled liquor! Maybe made of some kind of mountain berry.

Also saw your comment about joint worldbuilding brainstorming! That would be so cool.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

I am not sure the Rat cares about religion at all, so maybe he would convert to Samavian Orthodoxy without a murmur? But then again, maybe no one would worry about his religion at all. It's hard to know!

(And speaking of the Samavian nobility, how do they feel about these interlopers coming back after five hundred years away? I bet at least some of them are bitter...)

Maybe the next TLP newsletter could have a joint world-building component! I am not quite sure how that would work. But it would be cool if it did!

The newsletter itself could be like The Samavian Times or something. Possibly the Samavian Lamp? Or just the Lamp. So many possibilities...

[surexit.livejournal.com]

I don't think he does, no, but I think it could be a sort of funny sticking point, one you don't expect. Or maybe he'd convert joyfully and get really into being Samavian in the way that some immigrants try to be even more of their new country than new country natives.

(I BET LOTS OF THE NOBLES HATE THEM.)

OMG, these are beautiful ideas.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Uuuuugh I could just see the Rat getting all into being Samavian and then someone making a mean comment about how he's not really Samavian and ugh, POOR RAT.

Like, maybe they're singing the drinking song that all Samavians know, and the Rat of course has no idea. OH THE ANGST.

[surexit.livejournal.com]

OH MAN POOR RAT. :(:(:(