Christmas Book, O Christmas Book
Dec. 1st, 2023 10:52 amEvery year at about this time, I begin to sigh that I ought to write a Christmas book. The whole world has become a Christmas mood board! Christmas songs on the radio, Christmas lights on the houses, Christmas Christmas Christmas in every store! "I could write the rough draft now, and then it could rest nine months before I polish it up to release next year," I sigh. "Think of the money! Think of the years that it could go on sale every single Christmas!"
Alas, my muse scorns this mercenary motive, which has hitherto hindered my Christmas book dreams. I can come up with ideas, but can I come up with an idea that I wish to commit to for 30,000 words? Difficult.
1. An Advent calendar. Twenty-five chapters, one for each day of December leading up to Christmas. Either each day involves opening a literal advent calendar, and the object behind the door inspires a story ("Oh, this charm bracelet belonged to Great-Aunt Sophie, who was jilted at the altar..." This sounds very L. M. Montgomery, doesn't it), or each chapter furthers a story that becomes more and more Christmassy, like Jostein Gaarder's The Christmas Mystery.
How do you make this a romance novel, you ask. How do you make this into any novel at all? Well, that is a problem I have not been able to solve.
2. The enemies-to-lovers story of two competing mall Santas. One is a Santa with a real beard, who looks down on the other Santa who has a fake beard (this is a real controversy in the world of mall Santas), showing that he is not dedicated to the true spirit of Santa...
3.![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
littlehymes innocently suggested a Tin Soldier retelling. (Tin Soldier/Tin Soldier obvs.) "Ah yes," I said, "romance readers love it when the main characters melt into a giant blob of tin at the end. Well, they ARE together... ever after... And is there TRULY any ever after except in death!"
4. Generally speaking I feel that retellings that change a sad ending to a happy ending are missing the point. I would also love to write a Snegurochka retelling, but (1) is it really a Snegurochka retelling if she doesn't melt into a puddle of spring water after her first kiss; (2) does Snegurochka actually have much English-language name recognition? the point is to sell like hotcakes, and a retelling based on a story most people don't know won't sell like hotcakes; and (3) it would be f/f, which ALSO wouldn't sell like hotcakes.
5. I have also considered a story in which the human MC is in love with spirit of Winter, but this is also undeniably a bittersweet story, as Winter is only around for a few months of the year and the human would otherwise be alone... The point of this exercise is CHRISTMAS CHEER, dammit.
6. What if one of the MCs is, like, a holly dryad. Or a spruce dryad. Or something of that ilk.
7. I have found that in writing novellas, it's often best to start with the obstacle to the relationship, as you need a single not-too-large obstacle or else the book will cruelly balloon to full novel length. A couple of the coffee shop romances had "one of these people is only in this place for a limited time" as the obstacle, which might be a good place to start here too? "Noel will ONLY be in Snowyvale for the month of December, working at Snowyvale's Christmas Emporium. But now that he's met Claus, he's afraid that he'll be leaving his heart behind when he goes..."
8. When an Arctic explorer gets lost in a snowstorm, he is rescued be a Christmas elf. Forced to shelter together in a snow cave, their huddling for warmth soon turns sizzling hot--
9. I've written a lot of books with college-age MCs and I think it would be nice to write older characters this time. Also leaning toward something with a bit of a magical twist, although that twist doesn't HAVE to be "one of the MCs is an elf/dryad/gingerbread cookie."
Alas, my muse scorns this mercenary motive, which has hitherto hindered my Christmas book dreams. I can come up with ideas, but can I come up with an idea that I wish to commit to for 30,000 words? Difficult.
1. An Advent calendar. Twenty-five chapters, one for each day of December leading up to Christmas. Either each day involves opening a literal advent calendar, and the object behind the door inspires a story ("Oh, this charm bracelet belonged to Great-Aunt Sophie, who was jilted at the altar..." This sounds very L. M. Montgomery, doesn't it), or each chapter furthers a story that becomes more and more Christmassy, like Jostein Gaarder's The Christmas Mystery.
How do you make this a romance novel, you ask. How do you make this into any novel at all? Well, that is a problem I have not been able to solve.
2. The enemies-to-lovers story of two competing mall Santas. One is a Santa with a real beard, who looks down on the other Santa who has a fake beard (this is a real controversy in the world of mall Santas), showing that he is not dedicated to the true spirit of Santa...
3.
littlehymes innocently suggested a Tin Soldier retelling. (Tin Soldier/Tin Soldier obvs.) "Ah yes," I said, "romance readers love it when the main characters melt into a giant blob of tin at the end. Well, they ARE together... ever after... And is there TRULY any ever after except in death!" 4. Generally speaking I feel that retellings that change a sad ending to a happy ending are missing the point. I would also love to write a Snegurochka retelling, but (1) is it really a Snegurochka retelling if she doesn't melt into a puddle of spring water after her first kiss; (2) does Snegurochka actually have much English-language name recognition? the point is to sell like hotcakes, and a retelling based on a story most people don't know won't sell like hotcakes; and (3) it would be f/f, which ALSO wouldn't sell like hotcakes.
5. I have also considered a story in which the human MC is in love with spirit of Winter, but this is also undeniably a bittersweet story, as Winter is only around for a few months of the year and the human would otherwise be alone... The point of this exercise is CHRISTMAS CHEER, dammit.
6. What if one of the MCs is, like, a holly dryad. Or a spruce dryad. Or something of that ilk.
7. I have found that in writing novellas, it's often best to start with the obstacle to the relationship, as you need a single not-too-large obstacle or else the book will cruelly balloon to full novel length. A couple of the coffee shop romances had "one of these people is only in this place for a limited time" as the obstacle, which might be a good place to start here too? "Noel will ONLY be in Snowyvale for the month of December, working at Snowyvale's Christmas Emporium. But now that he's met Claus, he's afraid that he'll be leaving his heart behind when he goes..."
8. When an Arctic explorer gets lost in a snowstorm, he is rescued be a Christmas elf. Forced to shelter together in a snow cave, their huddling for warmth soon turns sizzling hot--
9. I've written a lot of books with college-age MCs and I think it would be nice to write older characters this time. Also leaning toward something with a bit of a magical twist, although that twist doesn't HAVE to be "one of the MCs is an elf/dryad/gingerbread cookie."
