osprey_archer | Witches' Clubs etc.

I ransacked my room today searching for a story I wrote AGES ago which I thought would be PERFECT for a Yuletide treat except, sadly, it is not. WOE.

(I did find a truly magnificent character study I wrote in English AP - Lucas Burch from William Faulkner's Light in August, as explicated in a letter sent his parents by his elementary teacher. It's too bad that no one requested something like that for Yuletide, because it's hilarious. "I don't believe it's that he tries to be cheeky - he is just naturally obstreperous.")

However! In the process of ransacking my room I found a stack of my old grade school papers, and YOU GUYS, I was the best tiny person EVER. Here! Here is my "Witches Club Menu" from third grade! (Complete with my own special third grade spelling.)

Pickled bat wings on rye

Dog Bone Brew

Lettuce with Sautead Cicada Legs

Fried Pork with Mud Sauce

Snow White's poison apple, Carmal Dip Added FREE

Jack-o-Lantern Juice

GREAT VALUE MEAL!

But I am probably better summed up by the letter of recommendation my brother wrote for the mock-applications we put together in sixth grade: I think Jennie would do a good job as Lawyer. She has lots of practice at home arguing.