Wonderfalls: the Last Four Episodes

[osprey_archer]

IT’S KAYLEE! IT’S KAYLEE!! Except not really, as she’s playing Eric’s evil harpy almost-ex-wife. Yes, it’s another television ex-girlfriend (well, wife in this case) who exists to have her character assassinated. The writers managed to make her both slutty and prudish, which is quite a feat, but they did at least refrain from making her a psychotic killer.

Still. Her apparent vileness is unfortunate because it makes Eric look like a real idiot for marrying her in the first place, given they appear to have nothing in common.

I’m probably the only person who’s a little sorry that he and Heidi are definitely over by the end. On the one hand, he’s a really excellent romantic foil for Jaye, but on the other, if he left with Heidi to make an honest attempt at working things out, that would have been thematically consistent with the rest of the show. Letting Eric go try to patch up his marriage to Heidi is the right thing to do, even if it hurts like hell, and it would mean that the talking animals are about the greater good of the universe, not Jaye’s personal path to happiness.

On the other hand, I really do like Eric. And Eric/Jaye. So it’s not a complete wash.

***

visualthinker11, are you still interested in writing that Wonderfalls fic? I have some scenelets here that might serve as a basis.



“This,” said Jaye, feeding the face cards one by one into her smoking toaster, “is the last time you ruin a game of strip poker. I’m telling Eric that graven images are against my religion, you demonic—”

The toaster exploded.

Jaye hated losing arguments with inanimate objects. Especially when they got the last word by burning her trailer down.

***

Jaye gave Eric a tiny wave and his smile reverberated like firecrackers. Jaye could almost see the sparkles. God, love was making her so sappy. She snuck another look at him.

“Jaye!” snapped Sharon.

“What?”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you for five minutes. Why do we always come here?” she asked the table at large. “All Jaye ever does here is stare at the bartender.”

“Hey!”

“He’s a very attractive bartender, dear,” said Mrs. Tyler, turning to look at Eric. Jaye attempted to apologize to Eric with one side of her face and threaten Sharon with the other.

***

“You burned your trailer down?” said Mahandra. “Must’ve been some game of strip poker.”

“Shhh!” hissed Jaye.

Comments

[visualthinker11.livejournal.com]

I mean he DID remarry heidi. So you have to give the writers that much credit.

Those are AMAZING! I wish I had any confidence in my ability to write fanfic, otherwise I'd be jumping up and down at the chance. I mean really, the only thing I had to add in was that Mrs. Tyler should probably make some pointed comment about Sharon needing to date some attractive bartender. I mean, he's a little below her station (since she's a lawyer and everything) but at least he's a male of marrying age...
Anyway when would this fic be set? Before or after the end of the series?
Maybe we could co-write it...except I have this feeling it would turn into you doing some seriously amazing writing and me being sad I have so very little awesomness to contribute. : P

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

"Sharon, dear, you should find a bartender who looks like that. He may not be quite up to par but he would at least get you in the dating game."

It would amuse me if Sharon started dating a female bartender after that, just because.

(As a side note--what did happen with Sharon's girlfriend, Beth, who was married to the UPS guy and then went back to him after Sharon dumped her over the symbolic battle of the peanut butters? And then went back to her house and all but jumped her, while Beth was waiting for UPS guy to return? And that's how the scene ended, without ever reaching any apparent resolution.)

The fic would be set after the end of the series, because Jaye's trailer appears to have remained in commission until the end of episode 13. She's either going to have to move in with her parents or Eric (or perhaps Mahandra--maybe she'll start out with Mahandra and things will somehow not work out).

I feel like that dilemma would really put Jaye between a rock and a hard place and it would be interesting, but I haven't come up with a plot more detailed than "JAYE FREAKS OUT," so we could work on that.

[visualthinker11.livejournal.com]

Precisley.

Oh she should. Eric's sister (Um, conviently also a bartender. Or who spends a lot of time behind the bar with her brother?) can come to town or something else entirely awkward. ; )

(I KNOW. Single worst thing about wonderfalls is the treatment of Sharon + Beth as a lesbian couple- so much of it is just for comic relief, and then they don't even finish their story.)

Oooh- what if she goes to move in with Muhandra, but Muhandra's debating giving up her place to go live with Aaron, but doesn't want to tell jaye? Dtama, and all.

I'm good with plot, sort-of. Loving that the demonic toaster is of course going to bring Jaye into some sort of life-shaping dilemma...as per usual on the show. (If not toasters, talking bass, you know?)

Some randomness: I am shocked to see now Dr. Horrible-centric post here, btw. Have you gotten a chance to watch yet? Because I'd be interested to hear your opinions on it... ; )

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Oh, even BETTER. HEIDI'S sister comes to town to try to harass Eric into marrying Heidi yet AGAIN and then Sharon falls for her and Jaye is all, "NOOOOOO!!!!"

In defense of the handling of Sharon/Beth, the writers treat most of the romantic relationships as comic relief--but none of them quite so bizarrely as Sharon, Beth, and the Symbolic Peanut Butter.

It irritates me that the writers wasted the end of that episode dealing with the bird woman making friends with the elephant, instead of giving Sharon and Beth some kind of closure. Did the writers assume that the watchers would assume that Mr. UPS would return and ruin everything? Because really, Sharon versus Mr. Emo UPS, I don't think that's a foregone conclusion at all.

Considering Aaron still lives at home, I don't think Mahandra would be willing to move in with him, but it would be almost as awkward from Jaye's point of view if he was going to move in with her. Especially if it's a very small apartment....

Part 1: In which Jaye's Trailer Burns, and She Searches for a New Home
Part 2: In which She Attempts to Live with Mahandra
Part 3: Presumably she moves back in with her parents, searches feverishly for a new trailer, and totally panics when Mahandra mentions that Eric's looking into apartments...

On the topic of Dr. Horrible--I have been watching--there may be a big post devoted to it once the saga is complete. But at the moment there are just some snippety things to tide you over the weekend while I gallivant in Florida.

[visualthinker11.livejournal.com]

have fun gallivanting! florida sounds lovely.

oooh, that's brillant. can jaye please bring sharon to the bar to try and get some sort of legal action against this girl, like a heidi-associated restraning order or something, and then sharon falls for her? i mean the girl will have to leave eric alone after that... right?

I feel like the writers planned to finish the Sharon/Beth story in another episode. Or I really, really hope they planned to. Mr. UPS was totally emo. But anyway we can throw in some super-hasty ending to the Sharon/Beth drama in the fic, no?

yeah, the idea of muhandra moving into the Tyler's house, while utterly hilarious, is pretty unrealistic. Not really her type of thing. (Plus Jaye would come by making snide comments all the time and things.) Just how small can we make this apartment? I think that has room for some humor anyway...ooh, and aaron/sharon will have to make some cracks about how jaye doesn't even have a trailer home anymore... somehow they have to find out about the strip-poker fiasco.

I love all the parts, but wonder why she would find out from Muhandra about the Eric-apartment thing.

i think we need some more talking animals in here, though... if the fic were an episode, what would it be called? (I want to say "Homing Pidgeon," but that might be to silly...) : P
or we could just call it "angry toaster" and be done with the matter.

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

Of course there must be an ending to the Sharon/Beth story, if only a throwaway from Jaye once Sharon's infatuation for Heidi's sister becomes clear.

"But what about Beth!" cried Jaye.

"She and Mr. UPS are on the road to heterosexual bliss together," Sharon snapped. "Besides, Heidi's sister (Kylie? Belinda? Gretchen?) is hotter."

If Mahandra had a studio apartment that would really maximize the possible awkward. And Aaron and Sharon TOTALLY have to mock Jaye's lack of a trailer ("I didn't think it was possible for you to sink lower down the social scale, but you've dropped from trailer trash to homeless vagrant. I'm impressed.")

You're right, she'd probably find out from Eric about Eric's apartment search. She would smile and nod and go off to Mahandra to beg for advice, at which point Mahandra would let slip that Aaron was coming to live with her, just to make Jaye's suffering complete.

I think Homing Pigeon would be a good title, actually. Having the talking inanimate objects expand to include things that don't have faces (like a toaster) might be too unkind to poor, suffering, homeless Jaye.

[visualthinker11.livejournal.com]

Which Jaye must respond to with an "aaaah!" or something less coherent.
...kylie, i think. wonderfalls had a gretchen, actually, in pink flamingos...

...that's aaron, right? cause of all the big words. poor jaye. i hope they aren't teaming up together in the mocking thing.

and of course another necessary moment is jaye staring at the utter ruin of her burnt trailer, which is a thinly veiled metaphor for her life and/or relationship with eric at that moment. or both.

what if she THINKS it doesn't have an animal? and then there's something (a pidgeon, if we want to keep the title) engraved in the very bottom as the company's logo? so she thinks the universe is becoming more and more unkind, and she can start mistrusting all sorts of household appliances... maybe she resolves, at the very end, if she and eric decide to try living together, they can only do so if there are no kitchen appliances... or animal-shaped inanimate objects... and eric can give her one of those "you're strange but i love you for it so, sure, i'll cook my toast in the oven or just eat my bread raw" looks which will undoubtedly (probably) wear off with time?

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

It DOES have a Gretchen. How silly of me to forget.

I'm sure Aaron and Sharon are teaming up together to mock, evil as they are. Possibly while standing in front of Jaye's thinly veiled metaphor burnt-out trailer with her, because we might as well just bring the pain, here.

Why don't I write the first part and then email it to you for tweaking/editing/evisceration? What's your email address?

And where will we post this once it's done?

[visualthinker11.livejournal.com]

Ah. Because wonderfalls is all about the pain... or maybe the awkwardness? Awkward pain...

You can e-mail me, that sounds fine. I'm going to message you my e-mail because I have super-caution issues about the internet. : P

I really have no idea about posting. Wonderfalls doesn't actually have that huge a community. But my friend shah_of_blah might know, I'll ask her. I think she's read all of the three excellent wonderfalls fics out on the net. (...hopefully that's an exaggeration. i have to ask.)

[osprey-archer.livejournal.com]

All right, I'll get working on that.