I think American culture - perhaps especially progressive American culture? - has a bunch of different contradictory beliefs about anger that don't mesh with each other or reality. There is some recognition that uncontrolled anger is bad because it can be so destructive (as you mention above, in the white heat of rage people commit murders that they instantly regret!) - but also the belief that the Anger of the Oppressed is inherently valid and good, and either won't be expressed destructively, or that destruction will be a creative destruction that lets a new society bloom (and sometimes an ethic of "fuck the collateral damage along the way.")
There's something condescending about this, IMO: there's an underlying belief that women's anger can be safely encouraged because the poor little things can't do anything too destructive.
And of course Oppressed are just as capable as the Unoppressed (Less Oppressed? How many people are truly unoppressed these days) of going into a rage because, idk, their latte is not appearing as swiftly as they would prefer.
But yes, I think you really hit the nail on the head that people should be asked to rein in their anger for reasons of principle rather than gender (or any other demographic reason they might be asked to rein in their anger).
In re: gendered expectations of anger: in Little Women, it's Mr. March who is Marmee's example of a truly well-controlled temper. So clearly the Marches/Louisa May Alcott, at least, believe that men ought to keep their tempers on tight leashes, just as much as women.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2022-02-08 11:08 pm (UTC)There's something condescending about this, IMO: there's an underlying belief that women's anger can be safely encouraged because the poor little things can't do anything too destructive.
And of course Oppressed are just as capable as the Unoppressed (Less Oppressed? How many people are truly unoppressed these days) of going into a rage because, idk, their latte is not appearing as swiftly as they would prefer.
But yes, I think you really hit the nail on the head that people should be asked to rein in their anger for reasons of principle rather than gender (or any other demographic reason they might be asked to rein in their anger).
In re: gendered expectations of anger: in Little Women, it's Mr. March who is Marmee's example of a truly well-controlled temper. So clearly the Marches/Louisa May Alcott, at least, believe that men ought to keep their tempers on tight leashes, just as much as women.