Date: 2022-01-23 03:35 pm (UTC)
asakiyume: (miroku)
From: [personal profile] asakiyume
I feel as if this has lost a necessary element of pain that the destroyed-the-friendship phrasing conveyed. How about something like

The reserved and beautiful** Ashlin's passion for art drew Olivia to her in their childhood for a brief, intense friendship that ended disastrously.

Years later...


**you'd have to then delete "cool, reserved" from the descriptin in the last sentence if you go for something like this.
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