osprey_archer | (Reply)

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Speaking as a woman who's always been prone to crushes on her friends, I find the fact that such affection isn't necessarily regarded as sexual/a hindrance to a firmly heterosexual marriage interesting. I would say that tracks with my experience somewhat; I've occasionally had friends who were uncomfortable with the intensity of my feelings towards them, but just as often have had friends who appreciated the attention. Some of those relationships became sexual, most didn't; a number of them have ended with the other girl getting married, and generally I've been ridiculously happy for them, largely because they've all had excellent taste in finding a partner who's a good match. (If we're going by the trope you've written about here, clearly they were elevated by my faith in their worthiness! ...but I imagine it's more of a chicken-and-egg question, in that the type of woman I tend to crush on already has a strong drive to Be Better.)

One such crush was on an artist friend of some two or three years when I first moved to Chicago. That one didn't end happily, for carelessness on my part as much as lack of communication on hers; still, she posted this on her artist Instagram towards the end of our relationship, and I treasure it.