Miscellaneous bits of Ilf & Petrov

[osprey_archer]

At last we have reached the end of my quote collection from Ilf & Petrov! These are just miscellaneous bits and bobs that I thought might come in handy sometime.

Except for this comment, which I record solely so I can wail OH HOW TIMES HAVE CHANGED: “The school was largely and excellently managed, like all schools in the States. We saw large splendid classrooms, hardwood floors, shining porcelain washbasins, nickel-plated faucets.”

They complain a lot about the sameyness of towns in America: no matter where you go, no matter what the condition of the climate and the terrain, all of America’s towns and small cities look the same. They are therefore pleasantly surprised by San Francisco, which “is the most beautiful city in America, apparently because it is in no way reminiscent of America.”

Ba dum kush!

They also look upon Christmas in America with a jaundiced eye. It is “a great and bright holiday of commerce which has no connection whatever with religion. It is a grandiose clearance sale of all the old merchandise, so that, with all our lack of love for God, we cannot indict him for participating in this unsavory business.”

Comments

[asakiyume]

Yes! Those old classrooms! Briefly one year one of my kids was in school in an old school building, and the things I remember were the high ceilings and big windows (and hardwood floors).

[osprey_archer]

When I was growing up, I took lessons at old elementary school that had been converted to a community center - they offered lessons in everything, pottery, dance, yoga, watercolor, whatever - and it was the same, the high ceilings and hardwood floors and the auditorium with the tall, long windows, like in a church chapel, with long red curtains that blazed in the sunlight.

[ancientreader]

Oh those bygone days of handsomely built, well-funded public schools! (Although -- a little voice whispers in my ear -- those would, of course, have been the schools the white kids attended ...)

I'm struck, also, by their saying that SF is in no way reminiscent of America, because Calvin Trillin [ETA: or, oh gosh, maybe it was Spalding Gray!] once called NYC an island off the coast of America -- this was during some prior Rethuglican presidency or other, I think. But much though I love my home city and much though I am inclined to kiss its filthy pavement every time I come home to it, I do have to concede SF's beauty. :^)

[osprey_archer]

Let's be real, probably part of the reason schools are less beautiful these days is racism: white American realized they'd have to build beautiful schools for black kids too and many of them went NOT WITH MY TAX DOLLARS.

Another funny story from Ilf & Petrov: soon after they arrived in America they gave a speech at an American press writers' club (which they later learned few of the reporters heard, in between the speaker's accent and bashfully low voice), the theme of which was that no matter where they went in America, someone would assure them that the REAL America was elsewhere.

[ancientreader]

Well, to turn a hashtag on its head, #notallpublicschools, because systematic theft of real property from African Americans, and denial of opportunity to build wealth based on real property, combined with school funding based on local property taxes, has ensured that public schools in white districts are still quite lovely, whereas ... But you don't need me to tell you this, or to recite all the ways in which white people perpetuate educational inequities because "I just want to help out at my child's school." I have become uncontrollably snarly on the subject in recent years, for reasons you can easily guess at if you read my journal here.

And here I thought the "real" America was the white, Christian nation. /s