Blurbs

[osprey_archer]

I’m working on the blurb for Ashlin & Olivia, and this is what I’ve got so far. I’ve been waffling about whether to start with a shorter tagline of some sort - “An f/f second chance romance” or something like that. That’s probably a good idea, don’t you think? Catch people’s eyes as they’re scrolling?

As for the blurb:

When Olivia accompanied her Renaissance 101 class on a weeklong trip to Florence, she expected to encounter art history, not her own past. But on the night she arrives, Olivia runs into her old friend Ashlin in the shadow of Florence’s famous Duomo.

Their intense junior high friendship left equally intense scars when it collapsed years ago. But despite those painful memories, the two budding young artists nonetheless begin to repair their broken bond as they share waffles with Nutella and discuss whether Renaissance art is really just Bible fanart in the end.

The one thing they don’t discuss are the circumstances that brought Ashlin to Florence. In some ways, Olivia’s old friend is just as frustratingly mysterious as ever.

But as she and Ashlin rebuild their friendship, Olivia realizes how much Ashlin has changed over the years - and how much the pain of their final rupture had distorted her own memories of their passionate friendship. Most of all, she realizes that she’s in love with Ashlin. But does the elusive Ashlin love her back? And if she does, have they both grown up enough that they can avoid repeating the mistakes that destroyed their relationship in the past?

Comments

[thisbluespirit]

The tagline seems sensible!

I really like what you've got so far, although this: the two budding young artists nonetheless begin to repair their broken bond as they share waffles with Nutella and discuss whether Renaissance art is really just Bible fanart in the end. I would cut to the two budding young artists nonetheless begin to repair their broken bond

[osprey_archer]

Yes, I think you're right and that sentence needs to be cut down. I might move the bit about "is Renaissance art just Bible fanart?" somewhere else in the blurb, just so readers realize they're in for a bunch of potential art discussion and not, like, immediate emotional heart-to-hearts. But we'll see if it fits.

[thisbluespirit]

It's fun but it's the exact moment in the blurb it stopped feeling like one. (Possibly "as they rebuild their friendship over art" maybe??)

[osprey_archer]

Ooooh. I like that. It both gives readers a hint what they'll be talking about, but also suggests that they're avoiding the deeper emotional stuff at first.

[minutia_r]

I'm going to be contrary and say I like the "Is Renaissance art Bible fanart" line. It's attention-grabbing and gives you an idea of the voice of the story.

[osprey_archer]

Aw, you just gotta throw a spanner in the works! I'll have to think about it.

[asakiyume]

I'm going into the "rebuild their friendship over art" camp.

[osprey_archer]

The other might be too specific, do you think? The line definitely needs some trimming; it's so long that it loses the blurb cadence.

[asakiyume]

Yes: too much specificity. Or to put it another way, it would be great if what you wanted to play up was how important art was to the two of them, but then you'd be doing the blurb a whole other way ("Art--it had been what brought Olivia and Ashlin together back in junior high. And what had mortally wounded their friendship. Now, in Florence, will sharing thoughts on Michelangelo ("just Bible fanart") coax their friendship back to life?")