Exactly; in the end you're stuck with the same difficult situation, whether you label the behavior weak will, evil, blah-blah personality disorder, or demonic possession: if a person's behavior is harmful to you, what's your duty or obligation? (Or, when and where does that duty or obligation end.)
Sometimes, too, there may be some treatment or approach to dealing with a person that might hypothetically work but that may just be beyond your wherewithal to apply. When people place their very handicapped kids in homes, it's not always or even mainly because they can't be bothered to care for them or they'd prefer not to deal with them (though those cases exist), it can be because they don't have the ability to do the care at home. Same with very sick elders. (These are examples that don't have to do with bad behavior, but the same definitely goes for kids who are prone to violence, say, or whatever.)
Or you can do the societally approved thing, but do it badly, for whatever reason (exhaustion, lack of skill or instruction, resentment). That's not ideal. (I realize people can use all these things as excuses for not trying, but they can also be for real.)
Never mind the fact that the person with the problem needs to want to address it. Like you say, if they're not willing to do the equivalent of going to AA, you're kind of stuck.
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timeasmymeasure
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Date: 2016-04-18 01:32 pm (UTC)Sometimes, too, there may be some treatment or approach to dealing with a person that might hypothetically work but that may just be beyond your wherewithal to apply. When people place their very handicapped kids in homes, it's not always or even mainly because they can't be bothered to care for them or they'd prefer not to deal with them (though those cases exist), it can be because they don't have the ability to do the care at home. Same with very sick elders. (These are examples that don't have to do with bad behavior, but the same definitely goes for kids who are prone to violence, say, or whatever.)
Or you can do the societally approved thing, but do it badly, for whatever reason (exhaustion, lack of skill or instruction, resentment). That's not ideal. (I realize people can use all these things as excuses for not trying, but they can also be for real.)
Never mind the fact that the person with the problem needs to want to address it. Like you say, if they're not willing to do the equivalent of going to AA, you're kind of stuck.