Obernewtyn fic: The Dark Road
Feb. 19th, 2009 11:27 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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troublems03, on the occasion of her 19th birthday: an Obernewtyn ficlet.
Title: The Dark Road
Author: osprey_archer
Fandom: Obernewtyn
Pairings: Elspeth/Rushton, sort of
Rating: PG
Summary: Elspeth has finally been called to begin her quest. Rushton isn't too happy that she's leaving Obernewtyn.
oldOnes say it is time for you/Elspethinnle to walk the darkroad.
Maruman’s words shocked me out of the reverie induced by the dull pounding of the rain. “I am to walk the dark road?” I asked in disbelief. I could not go now – now that the rebellion might truly succeed, now that Rushton and I were finally reconciled…yet the words struck me like a blow, for I heard the tang of prophesy in them. But the rebellion is not over, and Rushton is not fully healed, and they....
Maruman bristled at my rebellious thoughts. The world will fail if you do not go.
“But why now?" I whispered, shocked.
You knew this would come. The darkroad calls/you will go.
I sighed as he jumped off my lap, staring out of me out of his one yellow eye. "What will I tell Obernewtyn?" I asked softly, remembering the time when I fought against my fate and wishing I could do so now. But the safety of the world was more important than my wishes...but an image of Rushton, his new-found smiles, floated in my mind.
You could coerce him, Maruman sent
I looked at him in horror. NO! I told him. He gave a mental shrug.
Then you will have to think of another way, he sent. But make sure that he/Rushtonmate doesnot/willnot follow.
Rushton doesn't have to love you, a part of my mind thought. He would let me leave if he did not...but I had lived these last months in a world where Rushton did not love me, and even if I would coerce him I could not bear to live like that again.
But if I just ran off Rushton would follow me. How could I stop him? Anyone would follow someone they loved. The only way to stop him...A horrible idea occurred to me. I did not want to, but it was the only way.
***
Rushton’s back was towards me; he was discussing the farming with Alad.
I walked up to them. They both glanced up. I looked at Rushton, there was the reason I had stayed at Obernewtyn, there was the man I love, and I was going to...
“I need talk to you, Rushton,” I said, trying to smile. "When you’re done talking," I added quickly, nodding at Alad. Rushton stared at me quizzically for a moment, and I tried to make my smile less forced.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
"No, I can wait," I answered, reminding myself that I was doing this to protect him. "I'll meet you at the alder tree," I added stiffly, walking away quickly so I would not have to look him in the eyes any longer.
The smile slid off my face as I reached the alder tree and farsent Gahltha to meet me in a nearby clearing.
I leaned against the tree, unhappily rehearsing what I was going to say.
It all flew out of my mind when he walked up. I couldn't tell him, I couldn't! But…the world will fail if you do not go… "I hate you," I whispered.
"What?" he asked absently.
He obviously did not hear me, for he walked even closer. "Elspeth? What is wrong?"
Everything, I thought, but I couldn't say that. I thought of my quest. "I hate you," I said, louder, unable to look at him. "I hate you!" I yelled. I turned and ran through the trees toward Gahltha, the rain splattering on my back.
I heard Rushton running after me. I ran faster, oblivious to the rain. When I reached the clearing I slipped, falling to the ground. He stood over me.
“What?” he asked again, this time with disbelief in his voice, and pain in his face.
I rolled to my feet, not letting myself look at him until I had composed myself enough to remember the lines I had practiced
"I thought..." I began weakly. My voice faded out as I met his eyes. He didn't look angry, only hurt, wistful, almost as if he had been expecting this. It was my turn for disbelief.
After all our love had survived, why would he be expecting this?
Suddenly I remembered a multitude of talks, of reassurances that I truly did not mind that he was unable to use his talent. With this came the realization that he would believe me, if I told him that I hated him because he was latent. I had to use this against him. I could not have him follow me.
"I thought this would work out," I said, staring fixedly at the ground. "I thought I could live with someone who was not like me." Rushton flinched back, as if my words were a long expected blow. I hated myself, but, brutally ignoring my emotions, I went on. For the first time, I was thankful I was not an empath.
"But it's destroying me. I can't take it, I can't..."
He cut me off sharply. “Elspeth? Look at me.”
I looked to meet his eyes. His face shattered my composure, and I backed away quickly. Rushton reached out, grabbed my arm; I shook him off. He let his arm drop.
"Or will you even do that anymore?" he asked. My eyes flickered at his face again. He had a strange, distant look on his face as if he was trying to see himself through my eyes. I looked away as he refocused on me. “Will you?” he whispered, almost to himself.
The pleading note in his voice forced me to look into his face. I turned my head quickly so I was looking over his shoulder. “I have to leave Obernewtyn,” I said flatly.
“No!” He stopped, then more quietly, “Why?”
"I...I need...I can't...it won't…”
“It won’t what?” Rushton demanded, his voice rising. I shook my head; his hands clenched. “Why are you doing this? Leave Ober…are you out of your mind?”
My temper flared. “You know nothing about me or my mind,” I snapped back.
He glared at me, opened his mouth, closed it. Finally, his voice tight, he said, “Enlighten me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why ever not?”
I flinched from his sarcasm. "I can't explain."
"You never have."
I thrust about for something to say. Maruman's words about coercion popped into my head, and I blurted, “Rushton, stop it. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You already have.”
“Let me go,” I insisted. He bowed as if something was decided between us, backing up a few steps but not leaving the clearing.
“I can’t stop you.” He paused, then added, “I can’t stop you. But I will follow you.”
“No!”
“You can’t stop me.”
“I can,” I said. We locked eyes.
“I don’t think you will,” Rushton answered.
"You can't follow me."
"Because you don't want to hurt me?" His voice was even more sarcastic.
My heart beat like a trapped bird as I lifted my hands, as though the gesture could push him away. “Rushton, I’m warning you.”
“You won’t stop me.”
I drew on my mental powers, shaping them to a rough club. Holding it for a minute, I pleaded, “Rushton, promise me you won’t follow.”
“I can’t promise you that.”
I let the probe go, my anger at the world behind it.
Its power surprised us both. He stumbled back, his eyes wide with shock. He raised one hand to his temple, his mouth falling open. 'Elspeth...Elspeth, love,” he stammered, collapsing to the ground.
I stared at him, my shock mirroring his. I backed up, still staring, then whirled and raced from the clearing. I vaulted onto Gahltha's back; Maruman was already settled there.
Are you sure he/Rushtonmate willnot follow? Maruman demanded. I sent a picture of Rushton’s unconscious body. Maruman sent his approval, and I urged Gahltha to a gallop, still numbed by the fact that I had attacked Rushton.
The image of his prone body haunted me the whole ride.
troublems03, on the occasion of her 19th birthday: an Obernewtyn ficlet. Title: The Dark Road
Author: osprey_archer
Fandom: Obernewtyn
Pairings: Elspeth/Rushton, sort of
Rating: PG
Summary: Elspeth has finally been called to begin her quest. Rushton isn't too happy that she's leaving Obernewtyn.
oldOnes say it is time for you/Elspethinnle to walk the darkroad.
Maruman’s words shocked me out of the reverie induced by the dull pounding of the rain. “I am to walk the dark road?” I asked in disbelief. I could not go now – now that the rebellion might truly succeed, now that Rushton and I were finally reconciled…yet the words struck me like a blow, for I heard the tang of prophesy in them. But the rebellion is not over, and Rushton is not fully healed, and they....
Maruman bristled at my rebellious thoughts. The world will fail if you do not go.
“But why now?" I whispered, shocked.
You knew this would come. The darkroad calls/you will go.
I sighed as he jumped off my lap, staring out of me out of his one yellow eye. "What will I tell Obernewtyn?" I asked softly, remembering the time when I fought against my fate and wishing I could do so now. But the safety of the world was more important than my wishes...but an image of Rushton, his new-found smiles, floated in my mind.
You could coerce him, Maruman sent
I looked at him in horror. NO! I told him. He gave a mental shrug.
Then you will have to think of another way, he sent. But make sure that he/Rushtonmate doesnot/willnot follow.
Rushton doesn't have to love you, a part of my mind thought. He would let me leave if he did not...but I had lived these last months in a world where Rushton did not love me, and even if I would coerce him I could not bear to live like that again.
But if I just ran off Rushton would follow me. How could I stop him? Anyone would follow someone they loved. The only way to stop him...A horrible idea occurred to me. I did not want to, but it was the only way.
***
Rushton’s back was towards me; he was discussing the farming with Alad.
I walked up to them. They both glanced up. I looked at Rushton, there was the reason I had stayed at Obernewtyn, there was the man I love, and I was going to...
“I need talk to you, Rushton,” I said, trying to smile. "When you’re done talking," I added quickly, nodding at Alad. Rushton stared at me quizzically for a moment, and I tried to make my smile less forced.
"Is something wrong?" he asked.
"No, I can wait," I answered, reminding myself that I was doing this to protect him. "I'll meet you at the alder tree," I added stiffly, walking away quickly so I would not have to look him in the eyes any longer.
The smile slid off my face as I reached the alder tree and farsent Gahltha to meet me in a nearby clearing.
I leaned against the tree, unhappily rehearsing what I was going to say.
It all flew out of my mind when he walked up. I couldn't tell him, I couldn't! But…the world will fail if you do not go… "I hate you," I whispered.
"What?" he asked absently.
He obviously did not hear me, for he walked even closer. "Elspeth? What is wrong?"
Everything, I thought, but I couldn't say that. I thought of my quest. "I hate you," I said, louder, unable to look at him. "I hate you!" I yelled. I turned and ran through the trees toward Gahltha, the rain splattering on my back.
I heard Rushton running after me. I ran faster, oblivious to the rain. When I reached the clearing I slipped, falling to the ground. He stood over me.
“What?” he asked again, this time with disbelief in his voice, and pain in his face.
I rolled to my feet, not letting myself look at him until I had composed myself enough to remember the lines I had practiced
"I thought..." I began weakly. My voice faded out as I met his eyes. He didn't look angry, only hurt, wistful, almost as if he had been expecting this. It was my turn for disbelief.
After all our love had survived, why would he be expecting this?
Suddenly I remembered a multitude of talks, of reassurances that I truly did not mind that he was unable to use his talent. With this came the realization that he would believe me, if I told him that I hated him because he was latent. I had to use this against him. I could not have him follow me.
"I thought this would work out," I said, staring fixedly at the ground. "I thought I could live with someone who was not like me." Rushton flinched back, as if my words were a long expected blow. I hated myself, but, brutally ignoring my emotions, I went on. For the first time, I was thankful I was not an empath.
"But it's destroying me. I can't take it, I can't..."
He cut me off sharply. “Elspeth? Look at me.”
I looked to meet his eyes. His face shattered my composure, and I backed away quickly. Rushton reached out, grabbed my arm; I shook him off. He let his arm drop.
"Or will you even do that anymore?" he asked. My eyes flickered at his face again. He had a strange, distant look on his face as if he was trying to see himself through my eyes. I looked away as he refocused on me. “Will you?” he whispered, almost to himself.
The pleading note in his voice forced me to look into his face. I turned my head quickly so I was looking over his shoulder. “I have to leave Obernewtyn,” I said flatly.
“No!” He stopped, then more quietly, “Why?”
"I...I need...I can't...it won't…”
“It won’t what?” Rushton demanded, his voice rising. I shook my head; his hands clenched. “Why are you doing this? Leave Ober…are you out of your mind?”
My temper flared. “You know nothing about me or my mind,” I snapped back.
He glared at me, opened his mouth, closed it. Finally, his voice tight, he said, “Enlighten me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why ever not?”
I flinched from his sarcasm. "I can't explain."
"You never have."
I thrust about for something to say. Maruman's words about coercion popped into my head, and I blurted, “Rushton, stop it. I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You already have.”
“Let me go,” I insisted. He bowed as if something was decided between us, backing up a few steps but not leaving the clearing.
“I can’t stop you.” He paused, then added, “I can’t stop you. But I will follow you.”
“No!”
“You can’t stop me.”
“I can,” I said. We locked eyes.
“I don’t think you will,” Rushton answered.
"You can't follow me."
"Because you don't want to hurt me?" His voice was even more sarcastic.
My heart beat like a trapped bird as I lifted my hands, as though the gesture could push him away. “Rushton, I’m warning you.”
“You won’t stop me.”
I drew on my mental powers, shaping them to a rough club. Holding it for a minute, I pleaded, “Rushton, promise me you won’t follow.”
“I can’t promise you that.”
I let the probe go, my anger at the world behind it.
Its power surprised us both. He stumbled back, his eyes wide with shock. He raised one hand to his temple, his mouth falling open. 'Elspeth...Elspeth, love,” he stammered, collapsing to the ground.
I stared at him, my shock mirroring his. I backed up, still staring, then whirled and raced from the clearing. I vaulted onto Gahltha's back; Maruman was already settled there.
Are you sure he/Rushtonmate willnot follow? Maruman demanded. I sent a picture of Rushton’s unconscious body. Maruman sent his approval, and I urged Gahltha to a gallop, still numbed by the fact that I had attacked Rushton.
The image of his prone body haunted me the whole ride.
