![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Freelancers Anonymous
Oct. 23rd, 2018 08:22 amWe’ve all seen that movie or TV show about a schlubby-looking white guy with no discernible skills or talents who nonetheless triumphs over impossible odds with nothing but his can-do spirit and Protagonist Powers, and also gets the hot girl in the end, right?
Freelancers Anonymous is a movie where the filmmakers said, “Hey, what if we made the straight white guy into a white lesbian lady? What then?”
It turns out that this story does not become more appealing just because you’ve switched out the main character’s demographic attributes.
Our protagonists is Billie, who works a dead-end job she hates at a media relations company. Her fiancee is the completely adorable Gayle, who makes her living by putting on a podcast called Life is a Cabernet (in which she reviews wines while in character as Sally Bowles from Cabaret) and also by recording audiobooks of erotic novels under the name of Ellen Westgate.
So we’ve already got a successful freelancer in the mix. When Billie abruptly quits her job, stumbles upon a support group called Freelancers Anonymous, and decides to turn the group into a company running an app that connects freelancers and employers (never mind that there are already dozens of such apps and none of them have ever designed an app before), does she ask her accomplished girlfriend for help? Absolutely not.
Despite the stiff competition and the gang’s general lack of experience, Billie wins everyone over to her app plan. They’re so enthused, in fact, that fellow Freelancers Anonymous member Gillian hands Billie a bag of money to pay for a great launch party. (Why does Gillian drive around with thousands of dollars of cash in a brown paper bag in her glove compartment? And why would she entrust it to Billie, rather than the group as a whole? This is never explained.)
Billie promptly spends it all on wedding expenses.
Did I mention that Gayle’s family is so rich that they own a winery? At no point are Billie and Gayle in danger of becoming homeless, or even moving to a slightly less adorable apartment. Billie’s colleagues entrusted her with money and she steals it for a froufrou wedding because otherwise she might have to have a slightly uncomfortable conversation with her girlfriend about how she quit her job without any real plan what to do afterward, and they might have to cut back on the flowers if they don’t want to ask Gayle’s mom for money.
Of course it all works out: Billie’s Protagonist Powers save her. The members of Freelancers Anonymous forgive her for stealing the money, they manage to throw a great launch party anyway by doubling it up with Billie and Gayle’s wedding reception, which means Billie keeps fleeing her own wedding to attend the launch party, much to Gayle’s consternation, because Billie hasn’t told her that the two events are taking place simultaneously.
Eventually Gayle figures it out and storms down the hall to the reception area, a bride in full fury. She arrives in the launch party just as Billie is about to give her big speech and demands to know what’s going on; Billie explains that she’s been lying to Gayle for months, but now the launch has been a success! They’ve got investors! So won’t Gayle forgive her even though Billie lied to her for months and ruined the wedding?
And Gayle does, the chump. You deserve someone who isn’t a liar and a thief, Gayle! And none of the investors pull out after this display, although I for one would be thinking about taking my money elsewhere if I had it so graphically demonstrated to me that the CEO was ready, willing and able to lie to her nearest and dearest, because if she treats her fiancee that way then how’s she going to treat her stockholders?
Freelancers Anonymous is a movie where the filmmakers said, “Hey, what if we made the straight white guy into a white lesbian lady? What then?”
It turns out that this story does not become more appealing just because you’ve switched out the main character’s demographic attributes.
Our protagonists is Billie, who works a dead-end job she hates at a media relations company. Her fiancee is the completely adorable Gayle, who makes her living by putting on a podcast called Life is a Cabernet (in which she reviews wines while in character as Sally Bowles from Cabaret) and also by recording audiobooks of erotic novels under the name of Ellen Westgate.
So we’ve already got a successful freelancer in the mix. When Billie abruptly quits her job, stumbles upon a support group called Freelancers Anonymous, and decides to turn the group into a company running an app that connects freelancers and employers (never mind that there are already dozens of such apps and none of them have ever designed an app before), does she ask her accomplished girlfriend for help? Absolutely not.
Despite the stiff competition and the gang’s general lack of experience, Billie wins everyone over to her app plan. They’re so enthused, in fact, that fellow Freelancers Anonymous member Gillian hands Billie a bag of money to pay for a great launch party. (Why does Gillian drive around with thousands of dollars of cash in a brown paper bag in her glove compartment? And why would she entrust it to Billie, rather than the group as a whole? This is never explained.)
Billie promptly spends it all on wedding expenses.
Did I mention that Gayle’s family is so rich that they own a winery? At no point are Billie and Gayle in danger of becoming homeless, or even moving to a slightly less adorable apartment. Billie’s colleagues entrusted her with money and she steals it for a froufrou wedding because otherwise she might have to have a slightly uncomfortable conversation with her girlfriend about how she quit her job without any real plan what to do afterward, and they might have to cut back on the flowers if they don’t want to ask Gayle’s mom for money.
Of course it all works out: Billie’s Protagonist Powers save her. The members of Freelancers Anonymous forgive her for stealing the money, they manage to throw a great launch party anyway by doubling it up with Billie and Gayle’s wedding reception, which means Billie keeps fleeing her own wedding to attend the launch party, much to Gayle’s consternation, because Billie hasn’t told her that the two events are taking place simultaneously.
Eventually Gayle figures it out and storms down the hall to the reception area, a bride in full fury. She arrives in the launch party just as Billie is about to give her big speech and demands to know what’s going on; Billie explains that she’s been lying to Gayle for months, but now the launch has been a success! They’ve got investors! So won’t Gayle forgive her even though Billie lied to her for months and ruined the wedding?
And Gayle does, the chump. You deserve someone who isn’t a liar and a thief, Gayle! And none of the investors pull out after this display, although I for one would be thinking about taking my money elsewhere if I had it so graphically demonstrated to me that the CEO was ready, willing and able to lie to her nearest and dearest, because if she treats her fiancee that way then how’s she going to treat her stockholders?
