Let's be real, probably part of the reason schools are less beautiful these days is racism: white American realized they'd have to build beautiful schools for black kids too and many of them went NOT WITH MY TAX DOLLARS.

Another funny story from Ilf & Petrov: soon after they arrived in America they gave a speech at an American press writers' club (which they later learned few of the reporters heard, in between the speaker's accent and bashfully low voice), the theme of which was that no matter where they went in America, someone would assure them that the REAL America was elsewhere.