it feels like it would be declaring themselves lesbians forever, and both of them feel some attraction to men, although their forays toward heterosexuality are just as awkward and uncomfortable as their feelings about their attraction toward each other.

I wonder if this isn't a generational thing. My mother has openly talked about being attracted to other women in the past, but (usually when she's lamenting about her lack of options in the dating arena) I ask her why she doesn't consider that side of the spectrum, her answers tend to be along the lines of "I don't want all of that baggage". I questioned her further about it once, and while I don't remember her precise wording, her answer was something to the effect of how being A Lesbian meant that she'd have to constantly fight for her right to be in a relationship with her chosen partner, and she felt like she was busy enough without having to go to various political rallies and support groups and meetings and whatnot...I pointed out to her that plenty of gay people don't do any of that, and that it wouldn't even do more than raise a few eyebrows these days (especially in Alaska, which is surprisingly diverse), but she seemed to feel that part and parcel of a homosexual identity was that kind of constant rallying. It was definitely one of the more weirdly disconnected conversations we've had.