Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen

[osprey_archer]

It’s a shame that Lindsay Lohan never got to play Anne of Green Gables, because she would have been pretty fabulous. This is the conclusion that I came to after watching Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen, in which Lohan plays Lola, a teenager with a penchant for big words, hifalutin diction, and romantic stories - without any concern for whether her dramatic tales happen to be true. If Lola somehow found herself in Marilla and Matthew’s parlor, she would have introduced herself as Cordelia without batting an eyelash.

Lola, in short, is not a great role model. But she’s a lot of fun to watch.

The story begins when Lola’s mother moves the family from New York City to (of all places) New Jersey - or, rather, it begins with a dream sequence sparked by the move, in which Lola imagines being allowed to stay in the city all by herself. But rather than buckle in for a lot of tiresome moping, Lola swiftly settles down to making the best of it.

It helps, of course, that on her very first day of school - before she even gets in the building! Standing at the bike rack! - she meets her kindred spirit. Ella, with her neat blonde hair and preppy suburban clothes, might seem like an odd match for Lola, but the moment Lola spots her Sidarthur pin, Lola knows they’re soulmates. Sidarthur is Lola’s favorite band ever, and the lead singer, Lola gushes, “is the greatest poet since Shakespeare!”

The movie knows this is over the top, of course. But its depiction of fannish obsession is affectionate, even though sometimes amused by its excesses. Love of Sidarthur brings together these two girls who otherwise might never realize they have anything in common. It impels them on a quest into New York City to see Sidarthur’s final concert (the band has broken up!) and crash Sidarthur’s last party. And when their quest exposes one of Lola’s fits of mendacity and pushes their friendship to the brink, love of Sidarthur helps knit them back together.

I loved their friendship and their New York quest. I was less enamored of the plotline revolving around Lola’s cookie-cutter mean girl nemesis, because I am so tired of this character and for a long time she seemed to be de rigueur in all teen movies everywhere, and Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen was made right in the thick of that trend so of course it couldn’t escape.

But overall, I thought it was a light-hearted goofy piece of fun. I don’t understand why the reviews at the time were so bad. Maybe the reviewers were just incapable of looking past Lohan’s skimpy clothing to see anything else.

Comments

[asakiyume]

Yeah, the notion that the only story a woman can have is romance.... I see this as a very male view. ... I was about to put my Spielberg rant here, but I think I've inflicted it upon you enough times.

[osprey_archer]

I think many men are only interested in women's stories if those stories are about men in some way, and this is part of why so many things don't pass the Bechdel test. It's like that line from a conversation with a narcissist: "But enough about me. Tell me about yourself. What do you think of me?"

Also I've seen the Onion article you linked before, and like many Onion articles it is simple Too Accurate, the laughter hurts.

[asakiyume]

That narcissist comment is like the onion article--Too Accurate. My inner narcissist cringes in recognition of times when I've essentially done that. OUCH. But I agree--to retreat quickly from alarming self-realization--that it also does work as a snapshot of what a certain kind of generic man wants in a film about women.