I think 21st century ideas about self-esteem are more conflicted than 19th century ideas, perhaps? (I'm thinking this through as I write. Clearly I was too flippant in the first go-round.) The pendulum has swung back around to the idea that it is possible to have too much self-esteem, but at the same time we also believe it's possible to have too little, and I very rarely if ever get that vibe from 19th century fiction. Jane Austen thought Fanny Price was a perfectly reasonable heroine and there's a girl who needed more self-esteem if there ever was one.

I also think self-esteem caught on way more some places than others, so there's definitely that component too. And maybe if I looked in the right 19th century circles, I would run into people fretting over their children's self-esteem? Actually, I'm almost certain I've run into something like this, probably in conjunction with the characters who hold these views being gently mocked for their belief in progressive education, cold water baths, and woolen underwear.