I had to laugh about staring into space. Like sad thoughts and long sighs! There may be teens who never do these things but I've never met one. (Though that's a whole other issue. Selection bias.)

I totally agree with what you say about being a person who can provide fun times, too. Sometimes I think that's really the lifeline a person needs. Again, I would never say always about any of this, but while there's a place for probing and uncovering, there's also a place for just creating healthy, other experiences. Blah blah it's complicated blah blah.

And the last thing you say, about its being a matter of luck, I wholeheartedly agree with, and I think that's what makes it scary to think about. ... And I think it's a reason for people to be exposed to lots of parent-like figures, because sometimes a different person may have a way of being, or a way of talking, that allows for communication *better*. It has nothing to do with parents' love not being enough and just about different styles.