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osprey_archer) wrote2025-02-25 12:37 pm
osprey_archer) wrote2025-02-25 12:37 pm
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Book Review: The Stolen Lake
When I began Joan Aiken’s Wolves of Willoughby Chase books, I did not realize that the Aikenverse (as littlerhymes and I have taken to calling it) would expand to include BONKERS ARTHURIANA, but honestly I should not have been surprised. Aiken is an “everything and the kitchen sink” kind of writer, and Arthuriana is an integral part of every Anglophone writers’ kitchen sink.
So. At the beginning of this book, Dido is on a ship home to London, where she is mostly under the direction of the steward Mr. Holystone. Mr. Holystone spent ten years studying at the University of Salamanca and therefore speaks 500 languages (a slight exaggeration) and then went to butler school and is now tasked with giving Dido the rudiments of an education.
But in the middle of the Atlantic, the ship suddenly changes course! A carrier pigeon has arrived with the message that they have been summoned by the queen of New Cumbria.
What is New Cumbria, you ask? WELL. Back in the fifth century, when the Saxons overran Britain, a group of Romano-Celts sailed away to the west. They landed in South America and founded the kingdoms of New Cumbria, Lyonnesse, and Hy Brasil.
Because of this ancestral link to Great Britain, the queen of New Cumbria can summon a British naval captain to help her with her latest problem, which is… okay this is technically a spoiler, but it’s also the title of the book… someone has stolen her lake!
Also, the queen of New Cumbria is Queen Ginevra, a.k.a. Queen Guenevere. Yes, King Arthur’s Queen Guenevere, the one left behind after he died 1300 years ago. He was supposed to return to her over the waters of a specific lake, so Queen Guenevere cut up the lake during the depths of winter and brought across the Atlantic to New Cumbria, where it has rested until it was stolen by the neighboring king who ALSO cut the frozen-over lake into ice blocks and transported it on llama-back.
Awkwardly, this lake is also the secret to Queen Guenevere’s eternal life, as she throws children into it and eats a porridge made of their bones in order to stay alive. So she REALLY needs that lake back, and who better to send on the message than the British navy and their plucky mascot Dido?
So after many adventures, Dido and co walk across the lake bed, which is now a dry and silty area covered with fish skins, diamonds, and a very rusty sword…
…which Dido puts in the litter of the comatose Mr. Holystone, who wakes up and remembers that he is in fact King Arthur! Or, rather, the reincarnation of King Arthur, who has nonetheless lost all his more recent memories and just remembers the Round Table of it all! And since Queen Guenevere is still living, the marriage is binding even though Mr. Holystone is a reincarnation.
No worries, though. After their reunion fails to lives up to Queen Ginevra’s hopes and dreams, she storms off into her castle, which incidentally rotates by means of steam powered by the volcanoes, and literally moments later the steam goes berserk because the volcanoes start erupting and Queen Ginevra gets spun to death.
I BELIEVE the volcanoes all start erupting around this time because the magic that has been holding Bath Regis suspended outside of time (did I mention that clocks don’t work in Bath Regis? Clocks don’t work in Bath Regis) has stopped working because various owl-witches have been assassinated, but as there are volcanoes erupting all around there is no time to explain this or anything else. Run for your lives! Take to the funicular! And away we go back to the ship and Dido’s next adventure.
This summary leaves so much out. I didn’t even mention the captain obsessed with flying machines, or the part where a princess rides a big cat, or the bit where Dido almost gets sacrificed, or… Oh, well, just so much else. WHAT a book. Every single chapter is a roller coaster ride.
littlerhymes and I have taken to calling it) would expand to include BONKERS ARTHURIANA, but honestly I should not have been surprised. Aiken is an “everything and the kitchen sink” kind of writer, and Arthuriana is an integral part of every Anglophone writers’ kitchen sink. So. At the beginning of this book, Dido is on a ship home to London, where she is mostly under the direction of the steward Mr. Holystone. Mr. Holystone spent ten years studying at the University of Salamanca and therefore speaks 500 languages (a slight exaggeration) and then went to butler school and is now tasked with giving Dido the rudiments of an education.
But in the middle of the Atlantic, the ship suddenly changes course! A carrier pigeon has arrived with the message that they have been summoned by the queen of New Cumbria.
What is New Cumbria, you ask? WELL. Back in the fifth century, when the Saxons overran Britain, a group of Romano-Celts sailed away to the west. They landed in South America and founded the kingdoms of New Cumbria, Lyonnesse, and Hy Brasil.
Because of this ancestral link to Great Britain, the queen of New Cumbria can summon a British naval captain to help her with her latest problem, which is… okay this is technically a spoiler, but it’s also the title of the book… someone has stolen her lake!
Also, the queen of New Cumbria is Queen Ginevra, a.k.a. Queen Guenevere. Yes, King Arthur’s Queen Guenevere, the one left behind after he died 1300 years ago. He was supposed to return to her over the waters of a specific lake, so Queen Guenevere cut up the lake during the depths of winter and brought across the Atlantic to New Cumbria, where it has rested until it was stolen by the neighboring king who ALSO cut the frozen-over lake into ice blocks and transported it on llama-back.
Awkwardly, this lake is also the secret to Queen Guenevere’s eternal life, as she throws children into it and eats a porridge made of their bones in order to stay alive. So she REALLY needs that lake back, and who better to send on the message than the British navy and their plucky mascot Dido?
So after many adventures, Dido and co walk across the lake bed, which is now a dry and silty area covered with fish skins, diamonds, and a very rusty sword…
…which Dido puts in the litter of the comatose Mr. Holystone, who wakes up and remembers that he is in fact King Arthur! Or, rather, the reincarnation of King Arthur, who has nonetheless lost all his more recent memories and just remembers the Round Table of it all! And since Queen Guenevere is still living, the marriage is binding even though Mr. Holystone is a reincarnation.
No worries, though. After their reunion fails to lives up to Queen Ginevra’s hopes and dreams, she storms off into her castle, which incidentally rotates by means of steam powered by the volcanoes, and literally moments later the steam goes berserk because the volcanoes start erupting and Queen Ginevra gets spun to death.
I BELIEVE the volcanoes all start erupting around this time because the magic that has been holding Bath Regis suspended outside of time (did I mention that clocks don’t work in Bath Regis? Clocks don’t work in Bath Regis) has stopped working because various owl-witches have been assassinated, but as there are volcanoes erupting all around there is no time to explain this or anything else. Run for your lives! Take to the funicular! And away we go back to the ship and Dido’s next adventure.
This summary leaves so much out. I didn’t even mention the captain obsessed with flying machines, or the part where a princess rides a big cat, or the bit where Dido almost gets sacrificed, or… Oh, well, just so much else. WHAT a book. Every single chapter is a roller coaster ride.
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