Apr. 6th, 2017

osprey_archer: (kitty)
I started the next member of the Unread Book Club: Sarah Dessen’s This Lullaby. I have long meant to read something by Dessen, but now that I’ve started This Lullaby I think it’s all right that I haven’t, actually, because I can’t remember the last time that I have so yearned for the heroine (Remy) to break the putative romantic hero’s fingers. In the first hundred pages, Dexter:

1. Sits beside Remy so enthusiastically when he introduces himself that he somehow manages to knock her against the wall. How is that even possible?

2. Insists that Remy give him a ride in her car. Remy tells him no but then just sits there when he lets himself in - she’s already in the car, by the way, she could have just driven off and left him, or run him over, or locked the doors, or done any number of things other than passively let him get in.

3. Then he drops food in her car. After she tells him not to bring food in her car in the first place. And I don’t mean he accidentally spills; I mean he gets a French fry out of his bag and purposefully drops it onto her gearshift while lecturing her about the importance of loosening up. This is when I decided that I wanted her to break his fucking fingers.

4. He also shows up randomly wherever Remy is, in a way that is probably meant to be romantic meet-cute but actually makes him seem like a stalker, especially when

5. Remy slaps a creepy guy in a club and Dexter shows up out of nowhere to save her from the bouncer by pretending to be her date. Because I guess “She’s with me” is a better defense than “I’m drunk and this random stranger is trying to drag me out of the club for nefarious purposes, so I slapped him.”

6. I have just gotten to the part where he climbs through Remy’s bedroom window. I hope she will suffocate him with a pillow and the rest of the book will be about how she gets rid of the body, but I can already tell that they’re going to get together and Remy is probably going to go skinny-dipping and track sand into her beloved car to show that she’s no longer “uptight.” For which read “possessed of reasonable boundaries.”

I think I should probably just quit while I’m ahead. Or at least less far behind than I could become if I keep reading this. Unless it actually does end with Remy snapping and running Dexter over with her car when he tries to forcibly cadge a ride with her yet again?

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